Review: Insane Championship Wrestling ‘Reservoir Dogs’

The following is a review of Insane Championship Wrestling’s ‘Reservoir Dogs’ by Pixie (@RatedRPixie):

The night was opened in true ICW fashion with Billy Kirkwood and Dr Sean David addressing the crowd and informing us that this would be MC Liane’s last show as she is pregnant. Some jokes and bantering back and forward followed before it was interrupted by Mikey Whiplash who had a message for the fans and Red Lightning, who apparently wasn’t there. Mikey issued a message down the camera directly to Red’s other half and his newborn son claiming to have given their family member plenty of chances to face him. He then told the crowd that he would take a cameraman and go directly to Red’s door and drag him here himself. Red then emerged from the crowd in plain clothes and attacked Whiplash from behind with the belt causing a gash to his forehead, Red then cut a promo saying he had known this day was coming since January when Whippy won the second annual Square Go. Red claims to have studied Whiplash in every move and every hold and so was ready for this challenge; Whiplash is helped backstage by security to receive medical assistance.

First up is Noam Dar vs Solar. Both men put on a fantastic show filled with highflying action as well as being very hard hitting in all the right places Dar took control early on in the match-up only to be thwarted by Solar who looked like he was going to pick up the win. The match proved that these two really are some of the best high flyers ICW has to offer. Dar regained control of the match and eventually made Solar tap out, thus securing the win.

The New Age Kliq then made their way to the ring with a mixed reaction from the crowd and called out ICW owner Mark Dallas. Chris Renfrew who was clearly annoyed at the way he has been treated since turning his back on Dallas and ICW at ICW: Get Yer Rat Oot in April challenged Dallas as to who stuck by him when he was struggling with money when they weren’t selling out venues, Renfrew explained that he was the only one from the locker room who understood Dallas’ situation at that time and agreed to a pay cut yet in his opinion still got treated badly. BT Gunn at this point was just sitting quietly in the corner of the ring clearly biding his time. Renfrew re-directed his attention to Liane, telling her that she is the only person he knows who has successfully managed to make the leap from one side of the guard rail to the other by going from just being a fan to working with the company. It was at this point that Renfrew, noticing that Gunn had been quiet asked if he had anything that he wanted to say. BT Gunn then lunged at Liane wielding the scissors he is famous for bringing to his matches, security pulled him away but he and Renfrew just beat them off like brushing hairs off a coat. Scott Maverick the fiancée of Liane then rushed the ring only to be beaten down while his pregnant fiancée looked on in tears. Billy Kirkwood then came down from the commentary desk and was heard to say that she would be unable to continue the night and that they would need a new MC for the evening. That man was Simon Cassidy.

It was then time for the ICW debut of the Sumerian Death Squad who were to challenge the Bucky Boys for their ICW Tag-Team Championship belts. The reaction was mixed for these guys who look like total powerhouses but nothing can top the reaction of the ICW fans when the Bucky Boys make their entrance, one of these days I’m convinced they may take the roof off the building. Before the match could begin The Wee Man was about to introduce his team as he always does Tommy End of the SDS knocked him out cold. A solid match with some sneaky moves by the SDS while the Bucky Boys for once played by the rules which resulted in the Bucky Boys retaining the championships. After the match however the Sumerian Death Squad attacked Lambrinii and Wee Man before beating down the champions and leaving with the belts.

Dickie Divers was next to come out to the ring to tell the fans that his “make-up wearing tranny of an ex-partner” William Grange wouldn’t be competing in his match with Grado as he had an apparent sore stomach. His replacement would be Lewis Girvan who would face Grado with Kay Lee Ray as special guest referee. Accompanied to the ring by Sara, Girvan looked raring to go in what looked to be a great match. Another crowd eruption occurred when Grado made his entrance, I don’t think there is anyone who can get a crowd going like Grado can. The match got off to a great start and before long Grado’s trademark comedy spots made an appearance which made for an entertaining match. Before long Sara attacked Kay Lee Ray and was then joined by Carmel. The Owens Twins came to the ring and beat down Sara and Carmel before Joe Coffey entered the ring and beat down the twins before Wolfgang and Andy Wild entered the ring and chaos ensued. Grado picked up the win after Kay Lee Ray attacked Girvan and Grado pinned him for the three-count.

It then became apparent that Jackie Polo was in fact in the building after the speculation that he may not appear due to being asked to sign a contract to face Johnny Moss on June 9^th at ICW Flava In Yer Ear. Polo agreed that he would sign the contract on the stipulation that if he beat Johnny Moss he would then get to face Dallas and the ownership of ICW would be on the line. Dallas agreed to the stipulation just as Sweeney returned and chased Polo into the crowd.

The next match was the intergender falls count anywhere triple threat match between Jack Jester, Jimmy Havoc and “Crazy” Mary Dobson. Within minutes Havoc was bleeding and it wasn’t long before the action left the ring and Jack Jester was seen to be bleeding as was Mary Dobson action carried on up to the balcony where the previous night Kay Lee Ray had executed a stage dive. Jester climbed over the edge and stood on a speaker before dragging Mary over too, a few hits were exchanged before jester grabbed Mary and threw her off the balcony onto the fans below the action returned to the ring where “Crazy” Mary ran to the back to get a stapler which Jack Jester took from her turning on Havoc who he stapled 4 or 5 times in the chest before Mary Dobson kicked the stapler from his hand and grabbed it. Jimmy havoc then experienced what can only be described as every man’s worst nightmare when Mary stapled his genitals several times. Jester then regained control of the stapler and sat Mary on the turnbuckle before he too stapled her genitals whilst the fans chanted “stapled shut” he then stapled her tongue and threw her out of the ring. Jester then collected up thumbtacks and placed them on the steel chair which was lying in the middle of the ring before grabbing Havoc and executing a tombstone piledriver right onto the tacks Jester then won by pinfall.

James R Kennedy then came to the ring with Kirsty Loveign in tow; he was wearing a shirt which symbolised himself and the teen sensation Christopher as “BFFs” he then told Kirsty to read it and take note that her name wasn’t on there as she wasn’t in their “gang” Kirsty, like the previous night at Fierce Females looked hurt yet still fawned over him. Christopher made his entrance wearing a similar shirt to Kennedy they laughed and high fived whilst still leaving Kirsty out. Kennedy then introduced his new client dubbed the teen “Kensation” Kenneth who made his ICW debut. Fight Club then made their way to the ring where Kid Fite got on the mic and explained to the crowd that he was “pished” and so that Dallas wouldn’t kick his arse he asked the crowd to be as loud as they possibly could be. The match got underway and before long the fans were chanting for the famous teabag which Kid Fite duly obliged by teabagging Kenneth closely followed by Christopher. Liam Thompson tagged himself in much to the dismay of Kid Fite who was clearly having an amazing time. Thompson then proceeded to beat down both members of Team Sensation who all the time were screeching like little pretty boys. Kid Fite, still on fire, teabagged the referee Edward Roberts Team sensation picked up the win then quickly fled the ring. Meanwhile the crowd was chanting for Kid Fite to teabag Kirsty Loveign they grabbed her but James R Kennedy came to her aid which resulted in him being suplexed by both members of Fight Club and then teabagged.

NAK returned to the ring once again as BT Gunn prepared to take on Prince Fergal Devitt in singles action, an outstanding match with plenty of hard hitting athleticism from both competitors from chops which could be heard around the venue to the array of super kicks and punches, it wasn’t long before they brawled into the crowd and back towards the ring Devitt set up a chair and sat Gunn in it before fly-kicking him against the barrier this happened several times before the action returned to the ring and stayed there. Devitt picked up the win after a long brutality filled match which the fans were going crazy for. Afterwards Devitt cut a promo saying that if ICW wanted him to come back and beat down Chris Renfrew then he would, he also mentioned that wrestling in Japan in front of 5000 people didn’t come close to the feeling of wrestling for ICW. Chris Renfrew then attacked Devitt along with an apparent new member of NAK who was masked and whose identity still remains a mystery.

Zero-G Championship match was next and as the match between Wolfgang, Joe Coffey and Andy Wild got underway it was hard to see who was going to come out the winner. Coffey was a pretty dominant force and put down the other two competitors before giving himself a three count without pinning either man and demanding that he be brought the belt which he immediately spat on, dropped and walked to the back empty handed. Wolfgang and Wild went move for move and really entertained the crowd but ultimately it was Wolfgang who won, allowing him to retain his championship.

Finally the time had come for the main event. The question on everyone’s lips was would Mikey Whiplash cash in and lose due to the obvious pain he was in? or would he overcome that and go on to become champion just like he promised the fans? Red Lightning came out and spoke a bit on the mic before Mikey came out, aided by security and still looking pretty busted up. The match got off to a slow start and it wasn’t long before the fans could clearly see that Mikey could barely stand, he was missing spots left right and centre. All it took was one wrong move on Red’s part and Mikey began to build momentum, capitalising on the fact that Red was too busy boasting to the crowd about how he was going to win yet again. The match went back and forth with several missed pinfalls from both men and you could actually feel the atmosphere in the venue changing. Red hit Whiplash with the bet yet again and everyone assumed it was over, but true to his word Whiplash fought on. The roof almost got blown off the venue when Whiplash pinned Lightning to pick up the win and become the new ICW Heavyweight Champion! Joe Coffey came down to the ring carrying a suspicious velvet pouch, he hit a lariat on Lightning before cutting a promo telling him how for a year he has had to sit in the shadows and follow a leader who was nothing but a Judas, Coffey then told the fans that Lightning would, like Judas be receiving his thirty pieces of silver, he then opened the pouch and tipped its contents which looked to be 5 pence pieces all over Lightning and telling us that Lightning is all about the money which we had known all along after he demanded a huge payday just to show up. Coffey then went on to tell Red how he isn’t the saviour; he can’t save pro wrestling when he is holding the fans to ransom. Red didn’t seem fazed by the fact his former friend had turned against him and just smirked. Joe who by this point looked really angry went on to tell Red and the crowd that he is on a crusade and would become the messiah, the saviour and the anti-Christ rolled into one. He then exited the ring before Mark Dallas came down and said there was something he had wanted to do for months but couldn’t while Red was champion, no one seen it coming but what followed sent the fans wild, Dallas told Red that in no uncertain terms that he was fired! This is a huge thing especially when you consider that Red lightning has been with ICW since the very first show.

Overall an action packed night which like always has left the fans wanting more.

The ICW Weekender as a whole was incredible and I would like to take this opportunity to thank Mark Dallas (ICW Promoter) and Mikey Whiplash (ICW:FF Promoter) for a kick-ass weekend that won’t be beaten by a long way by any other independent promotion.