Being on tour is a mixed bag. It is a fun, but tiring experience that does your eating and sleeping patterns no favours. I have been on a tour of the north of Scotland already this year and this time, it was time to embark on a tour of the north east of England. Of course, I could not do my usual pro-England routine as a villain, so it was time to change things up.
I have been gradually updating my look recently and adjusting my character, so it is less like a William Regal tribute act and based more on the real Smith. This has included changing my ring jacket to growing a beard and trimming my hair. On this tour, I was known as “The Guru of The Life of Smith”, telling people they need to be more like me in order to make their own lives more fulfilling, which includes refraining from consuming evil products such as Coca-Cola and its knock-off brands and not putting butter on your toast. This tour gave me the opportunity to test the waters of this career move and I was up for the challenge.
The tour would start off in Bedlington, a town in the county of Northumberland and one that is not far away from Newcastle. Last year’s show saw me give local lad Firebird a ‘Greetings from the House of Smith’ in front of a mixture of families and a more mature audience. This year saw me face off against The Citrus Cyclone Tapaqu, an exciting and very exuberant prospect from Polynesia and the whitest Polynesian you will ever see! His dancing and high flying attacks managed to catch me off guard a lot during the match, but yours truly picked up the win and made his 1-0 streak in Bedlington a 2-0 streak.
The rest of the show featured a unique three-person tournament featuring Mike Musso, Prince Asad and The Assassin. All three men would enter the ring and would have a number between 1 and 3. An audience member would then pick two numbers and the two participants with those numbers would be wrestling in the first round, while the leftover participant would receive an automatic bye into the final. Mike Musso would end up advancing to the final to face The Assassin, before Prince Asad interfered and Musso ended up winning via disqualification. Can this tournament be won via disqualification? We may never know.
After the unenviable task of attempting to find parking in Newcastle City Centre, the team checked in at the accommodation for the next two days. There happens to be a nightclub in Newcastle called The House of Smith. I did not go to this place as I prefer my own House of Smith and I am also venturing towards retirement from the bar/nightclub scene. The following day would see us have a lot of free time before an evening show in Catterick Garrison, so I would have the chance to explore Newcastle and do my own thing before making the journey down the A1. Until then though, that was show one out of four done…
Lucian Maynard Smith
Facebook
SCOTTISH WRESTLING NETWORK | SWN 