Third week in 5 Star Wrestling and bar the first match (El Ligero vs Joey Axel) I actually saw the whole f’n show. Caught the end of Ligero vs Axel which was Axel using that Stretch Muffler again. I did see the pre-show main event of Matty Mayham versus HT Drake versus Alex Young which was fine, Mayhem channeled his inner Paul Smackage with the small package on Drake for the win.

This will likely be the most coherent 5 Star Wrestling review on here as I am literally watching the show and typing, but don’t you worry I won’t do a play by play.

The crowd looked bigger this week but…was quieter. How is that possible? Jake Hager entered to that old Simon and Garfunkel song…the sound of silence. He stuttered through a promo before Zack Gibson entered and once again showed up the Americans by verbally making Hager look like a right idiot by brushing off Hager’s really bad jokes and jibes, hitting back with some straight shooting. He challenged Hager to a match for the 5 Star Championship. Hager said he called the shots around here and that Gibson wasn’t getting any handouts, once Gibson left, he said that he would defend the title tonight against a great British wrestler.

Next up Rey Mysterio entered to face Rampage Brown but was attacked by Zack Gibson who proceeded to beat down Mysterio until Rob Van Dam made the save. This set up a tag team match for later tonight playa playa. It was a shame that they showed the tag match graphic during the pre-show and during the ad breaks on Facebook. Spoilers lads.

Some dude stumbled out with no music, apparently called Marcus Burke “The Vegan Warrior”, he proceeded to tell everyone that he was a vegan, typical. He faced Eddie Ryan, *WILD BRAM SPOTTED*, so yeah there’s something happening here with Ryan and Bram. A solid match, Burke (or The Canadian as he was referred to throughout) was a bit naff but did have a nice tiger bomb late into the match. Ryan won with a George Cross and stared at Bram after the bout while the commentators made no reference to Bram in the crowd.

Modcast next with Morgan Webster, The Masters of Cool interrupted the show as Carlito suggested the return of Carlito’s Cabana instead. Webster’s actual guest entered and to my surprise it was Colt Cabana. Cabana took some pot shots at Carlito and Masters for being lazy and just coming to 5 Star for an easy payday… which is hard to disagree with considering last weeks performance. They attacked Cabana but was thwarted by Grado, another unannounced name. The crowd perked up for Grado as did I.

After the break we got The Masters of Cool against Irn Jew, the crowd were dead which is a shame as we got some fun stuff but nobody seemed to care. The finish was missed as Grado hit the R-Grado onto Chris Masters for the win.

Jake Hager defended his 5 Star Championship against Ryan Hunter, who came out with pyro sparklers. This was pretty much a mugging with glimmering moments for Hunter. An ankle lock sealed the win for Hager.

Backstage Eddie Ryan challenged Hager to defend the 5 Star Championship against him next week in Plymouth.

Rey Mysterio and Rob Van Dam were having a wee chat in the locker room, Grado and Colt popped in for some hellos. We found out that Colt Cabana is British and that Scotland isn’t part of Britain. Oh and that Gibson and Rampage are, and I quote, fannies.

Dave Mastiff and Big Grizzly wandered out for a chat as Mastiff pushed at Joe Hendry’s buttons, baiting him to the ring before Big Grizzly attacked and the match was on. Grizzly dominated the majority of this but just as it looked like Mastiff was going to come down and help Grizzly, Hendry pushed Grizzly into Mastiff and hoisted the big man up for a Fallaway Slam and scored the win for the Prestigious One. If we get more Joe Hendry wrestling then I’m all for this.

Tor Atterhagen will be at 5 Star Wrestling next week. Cool beans.

My heart sank as PJ Black entered to take on Flash Morgan Webster. Webster looked fine in this one but my eternal dislike for Black wasn’t getting me into this bout at all. Black wins with a springboard moonsault. It happened.

Pure Dead Brilliant appeared dressed as ring crew. Banter ensued. Big cheer for Krieger’s Granny Jane. Fite is an absolute joy on the mic while Sharp strutted about, he challenged three guys or girls to a match while they got their matching tracksuits off. The UK Hooligans entered as Pure Dead Brilliant changed their minds and scuttled off.

Max Money entered for the tag team championship match, a wild brawl started and it was apparent that there was no count outs in this one. The Hooligans smashed Maxted and Sterling on the outside of the ring but when the match returned to the ring Max Money took over, the match descended into chaos, a quick roll up on Zak Knight holding the tights from Charlie Sterling saw Max Money retain the 5 Star Tag Team Championships. Really enjoyed this good, albeit long, match. A schmoz and shenanigans, that’ll do. Could’ve shaved off five minutes and it would’ve been just as good if not better.

We got an interview portion with Nathan Cruz, nothing much happened.

Time for the main event. I forgot how bad RVD’s entrance music is and the two fire breathing girls are back. Could say it was ‘lit’… I’m so sorry.

The crowd actually woke up for the main event, RVD and Mysterio looked to be putting in the effort while Gibson and Rampage were taking advantage of being in the main event and were like a well oiled machine working together. A really great main event, back and forth. The tag team match really helped RVD who had been looked knackered in singles matches so the tag match meant he could do his moves then have a wee rest. The match broke down with Mysterio hitting the 619 on Brown followed by the 5 Star Frog Splash. Gibson dragged the referee out as Max Money entered to attack Mysterio and Van Dam. Leading on from last week with Max Money being seen backstage with Gibson and Rampage. Cabana and Grado entered the fray to dispatch Max Money, Gibson and Brown. The show ended with a Grado, Cabana, Mysterio and Van Dam in the ring while Max Money, Gibson and Brown on the ramp.

During the fracas Van Dam kicked Grado in the face which Gibson jumped on as he shouted at the camera that it was a joke that Van Dam kicked a British wrestler that was coming to help him showing how unappreciated the British wrestlers are. Gibson man, he’s so good and quick to take anything to spin it into something he can use to further his cause.

There was some weird camera angles, a dead crowd and some random randomness. It was great to see them take advantage of Joe Hendry qualifying for the Commonwealth Games by having him in a match. No BT Gunn, it looks like Jack Jester is gone with no appearance in the pre or main show which is a damn shame. We got Colt Cabana and Grado which was welcomed, two top class entertainers along with Pure Dead Brilliant still being one of the best things about 5 Star Wrestling. The show once again focused on the British wrestlers, Eddie Ryan, Zack Gibson and Rampage Brown with the Americans being the side characters in the story. It was a bit of a hard slog of a show this week which, I feel, was down to the crowd just giving very little. It was so quiet, it wasn’t like they didn’t try to get the crowd involved especially Cabana and Grado along with Eddie Ryan. Next week it’s Plymouth and the hometown boy Eddie Ryan maybe facing Hager again, surely that’ll have some noise.

What were your thoughts on this weeks 5 Star Wrestling show?