Everyone loves a rumble, and Insane Championship Wrestling put on an annual over the top extravaganza to rival them all. 30 entrants, 5 weapons, and 1 winner.
The year between the last Square Go! to now has seen ICW really evolve into amalgamating some of the best Scottish talent around the country to mix with their own core roster and international independent wrestlers.
Billy Kirkwood, Katt Wolfe, and Ryan Fitzsimons introduced the event in front of a loud crowd in The Garage.
Winner enters the Square Go! with a weapon of their choice – Fatal Four Way – Jack Ripley w/Natasha Swann defeated Landon Riley, Craig Anthony, and Theo Doros by pinfall.
Jack Ripley and Natasha Swann received a huge ovation in The Garage that seemed to trigger Landon Riley to go straight after Ripley to kick off non-stop movement from all four involved.
Craig Anthony got the spectacular moments in with an incredible over the top dive to all three of his opponents, and coming with a Spanish Fly from the top rope to Landon. The quartet found themselves exhausted on the mat, as Landon scaled to the top turnbuckle to finish a wounded Jack Ripley, Ben Rodgers appeared on the stage. Riley didn’t hang about for being chased through the crowd to leave it down to three in the ring.
Anthony took advantage by running his knee into the face of Ripley, landing a follow up beauty of a corkscrew senton but Theo Doros was on hand to break the fall.
Doros dispatched Craig Anthony, and grabbed Ripley who stopped, dropped, and rolled Theo through for the three count.
The structure of the match was excellent. From Jack and Natasha entered to a huge positive response, that transferred into a negative when Landon Riley targeted Ripley, with numerous instances of Riley being the guy to cut off the momentum that Jack was building. Craig Anthony was the flair, showing incredible offence and high impact risks, with Theo Doros settling things down to have those big spills have their time to breathe.
When it comes to opening matches, this set the tone for the chaos for the evening perfectly. The underdog story of Jack Ripley, beating off three former ICW Zero G Champions, was great. The continuation of Landon Riley’s path to insanity and the appearance of Ben Rodgers was timed brilliantly. So many positives came out of this one.
ICW Women’s World Championship – Angel Hayze w/The Wee Man defeated Kanji by submission to retain.
In contrast for the first match, Angel Hayze and Kanji approached the match with caution. Kanji showed more aptitude for submissions by slowly torquing the joints of the champion.
Hayze rolled out to offer a forearm to the jaw, rocking Kanji enough for Angel to start getting into her groove. Kanji got a roll out for herself and became the aggressor, using the ropes for leverage and strikes to make her grappling more effective.
A gnarly shoulder snap garnered the ohs from the crowd, as Kanji continued to keep control, not letting Hayze have peace and transitioning a pinfall kick out into an ankle lock, changing it up when Angel showed some fight back to absorb the forearms and tie Hayze up further.
Angel broke out and picked up the pace, landing a crossbody from the top turnbuckle for a near fall. Kanji picked her moment to roll through a kick to lock in a Calf Crusher but it couldn’t get Hayze to submit.
The champion ducked a clothesline to get a superkick in, Hayze grabbed Kanji to turner her over into a guillotine hold for the immediate tap out.
It was a sudden ending but the dismantling of Angel Hayze made Kanji look like a killer. It was a slower pace, but it felt competitive and made Angel’s guillotine look very strong with the tap out coming quickly after it was locked in.
After the match, Angel Hayze announced that she was taking the title to India and Japan, declaring that she wanted to come back to challengers on the ICW roster.
Daisy Jenkins appeared from the crowd to get into the face of the champion but was interrupted by the music and entrance of Molly Spartan.
With Jenkins and Spartan arguing. Angel Hayze made her way to the stage only to be confronted by Emersyn Jayne. An immediate injection of intention to bolster the division.
ICW World Tag Team Championships – Arcade Violence (Brody Turnbull & Jake Lawless) defeated Greedy Souls (Brendan White & Danny Jones) by pinfall to retain.
The tag team synergy of Arcade Violence was on display from the bell, bombarding Danny Jones with tandem manoeuvres. Jones retreated to the outside but he, and Brendan White, found themselves being beefy crash mats for an airborne Arcade Violence.
The teams spilled into the crowd for a brawl. Greedy Souls managed to isolate Jake Lawless to bring him back between the ropes to use the numbers to take turns putting a beating to Lawless.
Brody Turnbull dragged himself back to the apron in time for Jake Lawless to dodge his way to the AV corner to release big bad Brody.
Arcade Violence took White down with a Hart Attack with the fall broken by Jones. Greedy Souls came back with a catapult into a sit out Black Hole Slam to Turnbull that was saved by Lawless.
The match descended into a scrap, with the weakening of Brody Turnbull coming into play with him being unable to steady himself in lifting Brendan White. Turnbull was dumped out with the challengers setting up Jake Lawless, but Lawless got across the shoulders of White after being catapulted by Danny Jones, leveraging the crucifix pin while Brody grabbed the leg of Jones to stop any interference of the pin for Arcade Violence to retain.
KOE immediately rushed out to jump the champions, beating down Turnbull and Lawless.
A tough defence for Arcade Violence but the continued arc of them in showing their chemistry as a team is what sets them apart in Insane Championship Wrestling. It was highlighted when Brody Turnbull got into a rhythm, and turned back to make a tag but with Jake Lawless not being available it caused enough of a hesitation to get Greedy Souls the time to reset and take advantage.
The hard fought nature of the match made Marcus King and Adam King come across as deplorable villains picking on the scraps which made it all the more effective.
ICW World Heavyweight Championship – Rhio defeated Colton Davis by pinfall to retain,
Colton Davis grabbed the microphone to dress down Rhio for not even responding to his call out in the build up for their match. Rhio responded by asking who Colton was to drive Davis irate.
Rhio sent Colton spilling over the top to the floor, rushing through the ropes with a dive to send Davis retreating. As the match returned to the ring, Colton got the upper hand to wear down the ICW World Heavyweight Champion.
As his confidence increased, Colton picked apart Rhio meticulously. Davis grabbed Rhio for a chokeslam that seemed to awaken her, throwing forearms to send Colton wobbly legged, enough to stumble into a top turnbuckle front dropkick.
Davis waved for KOE, who arrived to retrieve a table from under the ring but were stopped from playing any further part by Arcade Violence as the teams fought to the back. Colton fought off a sleeper hold to plant Rhio with a Kenny Williams-esque headlock driver for a two count.
The table was brought into the forefront, Colton Davis set it up with the intention to suplex Rhio through the wood. Rhio slipped through to throw Davis off the second turnbuckle and bouncing off the table.
It was panic stations for Rhio who just threw everything at Colton Davis, who took it all like a Terminator. Davis connected with a snapping running boot, followed by a chokeslam but Rhio rolled a shoulder up. Kenny Williams arrived and grabbed the ICW World Heavyweight Championship on his way to the ring.
As it looked to be over for Rhio, a stalking Williams turned around and drove the title into the skull of Colton to the shock of the audience. Kenny watched on as Rhio amazingly packaged Davis up for a piledriver to retain.
Colton Davis looked assured throughout the match, hanging with an experienced champion without looking out of place and meeting the level expected of the opportunity. The Kenny Williams twist was great and sets up Kenny, maybe with Arcade Violence, against Colton and KOE which I’m down for.
Rhio has an incredible aura about her, she carries the ICW World Heavyweight Championship with pride and conviction. A great match.
Before the main event Martin MacAlistair appeared, cable tying himself to the ring post declaring to JUST STOP THE INSANITY. Sean McLaughlin sent out two burly lads, one of whom being Thomas Avery, to dispose of the protester.
I like it. More Martin MacAlistair is never a bad thing.
The Square Go! Match – Mark Coffey defeated Nick Justice, Tommy Lockhart, Charles Crowley, Dylan Thorn, Jason Reed, Ben Rodgers, Kez Evans, James Ellis, Landon Riley, BT Gunn, Simon Miller, Jack Ripley, Kenny Williams, Lost Boy Aspen, Craig Anthony, Theo Doros, Michael Mailer, Hunter Samson, Wolfgang, Austin Brookes, Leyton Buzzard, Tim Strange, Prince Levi, Judas Grey, Natasha Swann, Lewis Girvan, Fraser Girvan, Sean Summers, and Daz Black to win the Square Go! match.
Kez Evans and Tommy Lockhart drew numbers one and two to start the over the top rope extravaganza, they didn’t take it easy, immediately going for the elimination straight away. Sean Summers joined the fray for a great back and forth with Tommy Lockhart which I’m up for seeing more of. James Ellis got a flurry in before Ben Rodgers brought the first weapon into the match, a classic steel chair.
Jason Reed got the first elimination, sending Sean Summers out of the match quickly after entry. Tommy Lockhart joined Summers with James Ellis scoring an elimination of his own. Michael Mailer came, saw, had his suit ripped off, and was eliminated.
Dylan Thorn didn’t wait around for an invite by rushing out and clotheslining Jason Reed over the top rope. The sneaky Reed re-entered to dump Thorn out to spark a brawl at ringside and through the crowd while Fraser Girvan bolted into the battle.
As the dust was settling on the ringside scrap, Charles Crowley made his grand entrance, producing a fist from his hat to jab Fraser Girvan in the face. Lewis Girvan joined his brother to give The Brothers Girvan an advantage.
Speaking of brothers, BT Gunn was next with a metal bin to form a tandem with Kez Evans with The Dangerous Brothers lamping Lewis and Fraser with the steel receptacle, and sending the younger Girvan out of the match.
Entrant thirteen was Landon Riley who slid in to throw hands but was met by a pissed off Ben Rodgers to rekindle their earlier confrontation. an unintentional assist from BT Gunn saw Riley eliminate Rodgers. Mark Coffey arrived to throw out Lewis Girvan and James Ellis, while Landon Riley disappeared from the action.
As The Girvans licked their respective wounds on stage, Lost Boy Aspen made his way out. A glance was enough for Lewis and Fraser to jump The Lost Boy and slamming him spine first on the edge of the ring apron, making him easy pickings for Charles Crowley to register the elimination.
The ring began to refill with Levi flying around as Dylan Thorn and Jason Reed returned to ringside fighting.
Jack Ripley produced the next weapon, a bag of items from the famed Tesco around the corner. A carrot entered BT Gunn’s mouth… which confused The Oddity more than anything. A turnip, a baguette, a hot dog, Mr Ripley had all his messages at his disposal.
Tim Strange, with the cow bell, donked many a man before delivering some rodeo time to Jack Ripley, who seemed to quite enjoy the interaction. As the anarchy was picking up we needed some law and order with Nick Justice arriving. Charles Crowley smashed a cucumber off the head of Ripley, which revitalised Jack by countering an elimination attempt to send Crowley packing.
The Ruff Riders tron came up as Natasha Swann’s number was drawn, helping Jack back into the ring and jumping Nick Justice. Justice handcuffed Risky Business together, which turned out to overpower them to take down the police.
Daz Black took his chances against Tim Strange but Strange walked away from a moonsault. A kiss of death from Jack Ripley had Tim falling head over top rope to send the Hoss out. The risky fun and games were over when Theo Doros sent Natasha and then Jack out to audibly deflate the audience.
The home straight was in sight with the 23rd entrant, Hunter Samson, making an impact with chokeslam after chokeslam, piling the bodies high. Levi was sent into orbit, and BT Gunn saved Kez Evans but was clotheslined to the floor.
Hunter Samson stood tall with Simon Miller marching out to square up to The Behemoth. The bodies got bigger when Wolfgang entered to send Nick Justice back to the station. As the colossal threats wandered the canvas like something from prehistoric times, Austin Brookes joined the field. Simon Miller fireman carried Hunter Samson to the ropes for a gang up elimination of Samson.
Judas Grey brought an ironing board out, Swanton Bombing Mark Coffey through it. Craig Anthony got into it with Wolfgang with Austin Brookes getting into the middle of it, and the penultimate man Kenny Williams put out Daz Black quickly.
The final entrant was El Capitan Leyton Buzzard, who made a triumphant return to Insane Championship Wrestling and marked his intent by sending out Simon Miller.
Anthony put out the ICW Zero G Champion Wolfgang, but was sat next to The Regulator seconds later thanks to Austin Brookes to leave six men in the ring.
Austin Brookes was launched over the top by Kez Evans, Judas Grey was German Suplexed out by Mark Coffey which looked incredible as the numbers dwindled and the chance of victory increased for those left between the ropes.
Colton Davis returned to pull Kenny Williams over the top rope to return the betrayal from earlier. A low blow from Leyton Buzzard left Kez Evans prone for elimination as Buzzard and Coffey stood face to face.
A slugfest broke out between the two, as Buzzard got the better of the punches, a volley sent him crashing to the mat.
The teases, the split second timing to hold on, Buzzard missed a splash, a forearm from Coffey left Leyton spaghetti legged and was sunk over the top rope.
As the cheers raised, Landon Riley emerged from under the ring. Landon rushed across the ring, only to be back body dropped out of the ring for referee Katie Walker to hand over the case to officially declare Mark Coffey as Square Go! winner.
It was a hell of fun Square Go! match that had plenty of teases for future feuds, and the continuation of existing beefs. The star of the match though, in my opinion, was Jack Ripley. He, along with Natasha Swann, made the most of every second they had and mixed it up with everyone from Mark Coffey to Tim Strange, the Risky Business duo are absolute stars that I hope they continue to shine bright wherever they go.
Considering only about half of the entrants were announced beforehand, the surprises were received well like Leyton Buzzard making his first appearance for about 3 years, and Tim Strange for his first appearance in nearly 20 years in ICW. Much like Jack Ripley, guys like Michael Mailer, Nick Justice, and Judas Grey made full use of the moment to leave an impression.
A solid winner, Mark Coffey is a dependable case holder with the possibility of a Grand Slam if he is successful in cashing in on the ICW World Heavyweight Champion, whoever that may be.
The opener was fantastic, with the title matches being solid. The opening up of branches for the upcoming year, a reboot of the women’s division in the absence of Angel Hayze while she takes the title worldwide is exciting especially with the long awaited return of Emersyn Jayne to really shake up matters, all made for an important event to start ICW’s 2026.
I’m looking forward to seeing where it goes.
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