Our friends at Mildly Amusing present a Fantasy Match right here on OSWtv. First up, current Pride Wrestling and ICW World Heavyweight Champion Damian O’Connor faces former WCW Champion and breaker of backs, Big Van Vader! Let’s take a look.

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Two goliaths of the wrestling ring square off. Vader is 6’5 and weighs in at a jaw dropping 450 lbs. A true legend in both Japan and America, his list of in ring credentials is very impressive. He is a multiple time world champ in All Japan, New Japan and WCW even winning the Super Bowl as a professional footballer. His awesome power and stiff striking is matched only by his surprising agility. He is one of the largest men to be capable of a moonsault.

Damo had a rare size disadvantage being “only” 6’3 and 295 lbs. He too has held numerous championships including ICW’s World Heavyweight Championship. He is no stranger to the Strong Style of Japan, previously facing Tomohiro Ishii, Shinsuke Nakamura and Hiroshi Tanahashi. In the ring he has a similar style combining raw power and agility. Known for his feats of strength, including carrying two men at once with ease. Incredibly for a man his size he can manage a Coast to Coast!

Damo makes his way to the ring first, a look of determination in his eyes. He knows what a big opportunity this is. He makes his way to the ring with little fanfare. Vader is out next, bedecked in his signature helmet. Smoke shoots from his shoulders as the two menacing red eyes stare directly into O’Connor. Most men would flinch or back away. Damo is not most men. He stares unintimidated by his legendary foe. Eventually both men are in the ring and butt heads in a staredown where Damo is for once the smaller man. The referee splits them up as we get our ring introductions.

“The following contest is scheduled for one fall (One Fall!), introducing first, weighing in at 295 lbs. from Belfast, Northern Ireland. “The Beast of Belfast” BIG DAMO!!!” Damo raises an arm to a positive response. “And his opponent, weighing in at 450 lbs. from the Rocky Moutains, “The Mastadon” BIG VAN VADER!!!” Vader flexes his muscles and grunts at Damo, not intimidating O’Connor as easily as he would most men. The referee calls for the bell and we are underway!

Both men circle each other trying to get the other one’s measure. After a few swipes, Vader charges Damo with a shoulder block, Damo is unfazed and stands firm. He tries one of his own and this time The Mastodon stands his ground. This happens a few times and eventually they come to blows. Both men rapidly exchange punches trying to wear down the other one. Vader staggers Damo with a brutal forearm which Damo counters with a lariat, knocking Vader off his feet! He follows up with a big senton. A cover only produces a 1 count. It will take a lot more to put away Vader. He gets up to his feet and grabs Damo, whips him into the ropes and manages a backdrop on the Irishman(!) Both athletes blend of agility and size should be on show throughout the match. Damo is back on his feet now and walks straight into a dropkick by Vader, who follows up with a big running powerslam. Vader starts playing to the crowd, a move he’ll later regret as he turns straight into a very angry Damo who hits a big dropkick of his own. Vader stumbles and Damo capitalises hitting a ring shaking fall away slam. Vader’s momentum carries him to the outside. The referee begins his count. Damo is going to wait though. He climbs out of the ring and sends Vader shoulder first into the guard rail, which nearly collapses under his weight. Damo backs up as the referee begs in vain to get him back in the ring. He charges at the former IWGP Heavyweight and hits a Cannonball into Vader as he sits propped up against the cold steel guardrail. The metal buckles under the mass of humanity and the two men are now strewn on the arena floor. The referee rushes to check on both men.

Unbelievably, the match continues! Both men get to their feet at roughly the same time and Vader returns Damo to the ringside area with a huge lariat that would make Stan Hansen proud. He then picks up and powerbombs the nearly 300 pound Irishman on the hard concrete floor. Vader returns to the ring telling the ref to count Damo out! The count slowly continues but Damo gets in at 8! Vader doesn’t waste anytime and boots Damo right in the head as he makes his way back into the ring and grabs him. He’s going for a powerbomb! Vader manages to pick Damo up! He slams him to the mat and covers him. 1… 2… KICKOUT! Vader sits up in shock and protests to the referee. Damo sees his chance and grabs Vader’s arm and attempts to lock in the crossface that won him the ICW World title. Vader tries to block it but Damo has it locked in! Vader desperately claws at the mat to escape the hold, eventually forcing a rope break.

The two men get back to their feet and begin exchanging forearms back and forth. After a vicious flurry of strikes Vader seemingly once again has the upper hand knocking Damo back into a corner. He runs to the opposite side aiming to charge and crush Damo into the corner. Vader starts charging, Damo uses his agility to dodge the big man and Vader collides head first with the turnbuckle! Damo quickly dashes to the other side and hits a huge running dropkick into Vader sending him back into the turbuckles! Damo is on fire! He darts behind Vader and goes for the one winged angel! (I can’t remember what Damo calls it) He struggles to the lift the big man up and Vader capitalises, punching Damo’s head repeatedly causing him to collapse. Both men are sprawled in the ring, this physical battle having taken it’s toll. Vader is up first and goes on the offence, hitting a huge spinning back fist on Damo that sends the Beast of Belfast reeling. He follows up with a huge chokeslam, shaking the ring once again. Vader then decides its time to end it. He climbs to the top rope! He’s going for it! VADERSAULT! The Super Heavyweight flies through the air with the ease of a cruiserweight! He lands perfectly on Damo’s ribs and goes straight for the pin! 1………… 2………….. KICKOUT! Vader is in disbelief! He rips his mask off in frustration as he wonders what can finish Damo off. He grabs Damo and drags him closer to the turnbuckle. Vader screams “IT’S OVER!!!” He climbs to the second rope with his back to the ring. He starts bouncing on the ropes. He’s going for it! VADERBOMB! But Damo rolled out of the way! Vader comes crashing down face first on the canvas, knocking the wind out of him. Damo is back on his feet and is begging Vader to get up. Vader slowly rises to his feet, and turns straight into the Bann River Boot knocking him back into the turnbuckle! He collapses into a sitting position. Damo knows what to do now! He begins to climb the corner that Vader’s unconscious eyes are staring into. The big man is going to fly as the crowd are on their feet. Coast to Coast by Damo! The Beast of Belfast soars across the ring. 300 pounds of force flying across the ring and connecting with Vader’s cranium. Damo goes for the pin. 1… 2… 3!!! Damo Wins! He celebrates as best he can.