January 24th 2016 | The Barrowlands Ballroom | Glasgow

I have a little time to spare and as I’d already checked out the The 5th Annual Square Go! match itself how about taking a look at the rest of the event. I will be copied and pasting the ol’ Square Go review in but if you just want to check it all byyy itself then you can check out the review here.

Lionheart defeated Kenny Williams by Pinfall.

Lionheart and Kenny Williams have this beautiful chemistry that few can replicate in this country. Watching it with hindsight you know where these two carry on to but watching the match out of context, out of the sync with everything else it’s just a damn great match. You have Kenny with his exuberance and youth flying wildly in the air or throwing punches against Lionheart, the veteran who just picks his spots and rarely rushes, putting an exclamation point onto each attack.

Kenny flew out of the ring and hit a tornado DDT as Lioneart just crumpled into deadweight but suckered Williams to try a spring board that was met with a perfect superkick. A flurry followed and Lionheart pulled the gear of Williams to hold him down for a three count.

It was quick, but it was a beaut of a match.

ICW Tag Team Championships – The 55 (Kid Fite & Sha Samuels) w/James R Kennedy & Timm Wylie defeated Polo Promotions (Jackie Polo & Mark Coffey) by forfeit to retain the ICW Tag Team Championships.

So this is the event where Coach Trip had his wee fall off the stage, Trip by name…

Four men that are absolute masters as telling a story. Doesn’t need to be flashy but as long as it makes sense then it’s all good. Coffey and Polo showed up Samuels and Fite in the early going with just constant teamwork, proving that they are better unit as a team. But it took cunning and a well thought out gameplan from Kennedy to grab Polo’s strong leg allowing Fite to take over and for The 55 to take turns mauling the injured knee of Jackie, not with teamwork but individually as Polo threw wild punches trying to separate himself from being battered. Jackie claws back and finds a moment to tag in Mark Coffey who’s fresh and just goes after Sha but again it’s the craftiness of The 55 to distract and discect as they started wearing down Mark instead. The action turned back and forth with The 55 doing everything they could to cut off Polo and Coffey’s attacks before it broke down further, Wylie clotheslining Coffey over the barrier into the crowd leaving Jackie on a two on one situation, a chair to the weakened knee and a single leg boston crab which was on for an eternity. Wylie controlled the outside and didn’t allow Mark back in as Coach threw in the towel.

After the match The 55 targeted Jackie’s leg with a chair before DCT arrived to chase them off but James R Kennedy was left behind who got scooped and piledrove for good measure.

Simple storytelling of The 55 having to separate Jackie Polo and Mark Coffey to win, although they weren’t the better TEAM they are the more sadistic INDIVIDUALS and came in with a plan. Fantastic.

Carmel Jacob defeated Liam Thomson by Pinfall.

Thomson nonchalantly had his way with Jacob with no serious attempts to finish her off in the early going before Carmel got in a slap and things changed. Thomson looked embarassed that she got the better of him in one exchange and started getting more aggressive and looking to actually win. Chair shots followed to Carmel’s back, Carmel retreated up the ramp but baited Thomson in for a scoop slam on the ramp as she started making a comeback. Carmel had fleeting moments of redemption but were cut off by the bigger Thomson. Jacob started to gain an advantage which Thomson begged off before launching another attack, throwing her over the top rop onto the apron and dropkicking her off through a table. Carmel wouldn’t quit and kicked out of two powerbombs and dragged herself to the ropes following a sharpshooter. Thomson was pulled off by the referee and turned round to a chair shot to the head for the three count.

Uncomfortable to watch and not fun. Carmel got very little offense and won out of sheer luck. Not my cup to tea.

ICW World Heavyweight Championship – Chris Renfrew defeated Grado by Pinfall to win the ICW World Heavyweight Championship.

You had Renfrew enter all serious, staring a hole in the ring and Grado entered wearing trunks as opposed to a singlet, taking his time to get to the ring, not out of cowardice but out of taking the match serious. In the build up package shown before the match Renfrew questioned Grado’s loyalty to ICW as he was going to TNA and breaking out across the globe. A different side to the funny man who does a bit of dancing and shenanigans. The match started with fists flying with Grado missing an early Roll N Slice before the match went to the outside with chops and headbutts. Both took turns getting a back body drop onto the ramp to even the playing field as they continued to scrap at ringside. Renfrew took control, Grado went for a flip flop and fly but was met with a Stoner for a close two count. Both men seemed desperate to end the match as quickly as possible, heading straight into attempting finishes with little wasted time. Grado hitting two Roll N Slices but was met half way through a third with a kendo stick to the head and received two more to bust Grado open.

More shots to the head as Grado’s face covered in blood, avoiding another stick shot and hitting the r-Grado for two. A glancing Wee Boot got another two count. Grado grabbed his bumbag and emptied thumbtacks over the ring. A struggle followed with Grado hitting a Rock Bottom slamming Renfrew onto the tacks. Renfrew sprung in with a Stoner and T-Virius for another two count as the crowd built up, getting louder and louder.

Renfrew brought in a board covered in barbed wire, placing it into the corner but saw himself thrown into it with a German Suplex then looking up to see Grado hurling himself into him with a Roll N Slice. Another back and forth with Grado hitting the Wee Boot, Renfrew rebounded onto the ropes and hit another Stoner for the three count.

The match just went into third gear instantly and didn’t slow as both men just threw everything at each other. A wonderfully passionate match, a match I hadn’t even watched before but had heard so many good things that I thought that it may not live up to the hype. Both men didn’t mess about in this one, both worked hard in order show that the ICW World Heavyweight Championship was THE MOST important thing on the line. Great little touch was BT Gunn coming out with the New Age Kliq to celebrate and shaking Grado’s hand. It was just off camera so not to put it as a focal point but a nice little bit during the celebrations.

Some really great matches from a storytelling standpoint and in ring, I wasn’t a fan of Carmel-Liam but the rest of the matches were brilliant and could be rewatched again and again.

Wolfgang Wins The 30 Man Square Go!

Originally published: February 4th 2017

Champagne Simon Cassidy commanded the introductions.

Joe Coffey (#1) – Big Damo Lewis Girvan (#2)

The Iron Man entered to a spine tingling ovation that filled The Barrowlands, out next was Big Damo who was called back by Majority Owner Red Lightning to be told that he wasn’t booked for the Square Go tonight. After much persistence from the crew, The Beast of Belfast made his way backstage to be replaced by Lewis Girvan, not before Red Lightning announced that he gave Drew Galloway the night off.

The crowd were champing at the bit for Coffey-Damo which was a good sign of things to come when Shug’s Hoose Party 3 rolled around…

A hot start with Joe and Lewis trading holds, Coffey using a beautiful butterfly swing on Girvan before boil down into a brawl to the corner.

Trent Seven (#3) – Sir Andrew Wilde (#4)

With the action underway, the big hitters arrived early with Trent Seven trading chops with Joe Coffey and Andrew Wilde throwing folk about.

Solar (#5) – Soldato (#6) 

Solar entering added a little speed to proceedings, a great monkey flip from Girvan onto Solar was caught by Joe Coffey, who placed him into position for a giant swing, only for Girvan to jump in and only ended up on Coffey’s back and joined the ride. Coffey looked to be working at full pelt. Solar and Soldato had a great stand off and a little bit of lucha action before both turning their attention to Girvan and teaming up instead. Some fantastic double team moves before Andrew Wilde spoiled the lucha party.

Dave Mastiff (#7) – Massimo (#8)

Mastiff arrived to maim with German Suplexes for all, including two for Joe Coffey who was thrown like a small child. Mastiff’s arrival kicked off eliminations with the masked competitors being tossed out after they also got a trip to Bastard Country. Massimo entered and booted Mastiff down to the crowd chanting Pavarotti.

Eliminations: Solar (Mastiff), Soldato (Mastiff (2))

Lou King Sharp (#9) – Sebastian (Weapon – Tom Irvin) (#10)

The entrants kept getting bigger with Lou King Sharp squaring up to big Massimo then Mastif before settling on Joe Coffey (after a wee tantrum)…which didn’t work out great with Coffey hitting a big clothesline then throwing my Mother’s favourite wrestler into the crowd…who surfed him back into the match. Sebastian entered with one of the five weapons, Tom Irvin…as they proceeded to double team the competition while Lewis Girvan dished out more low blows to keep everyone down.

Dickie Divers (#11) – Jimmy Havoc (#12)

Last year’s winner, Dickie Divers, entered to a huge cheer as he teamed with Lou King Sharp (The Toal Family) to put the boots to Lewis Girvan. The ring started to fill up with 9 men occupying the canvas before Jimmy Havoc entered to a huge ovation. He set straight to work with Acid Rainmakers to The GZRS and a quick elimination before Lou King Sharp followed and Havoc hadn’t even taken his coat off yet. Divers hung over the top rope for too long with Trent taking advantage and The Toal Family were both out in quick succession.

Elminations: Sebastian (Havoc), Lou King Sharp (Havoc (2)), Dickie Divers (Seven)

Scotty Swift (#13) – Noam Dar (#14)

It was very odd to see Swift enter with such anger towards the crowd, the total opposite to his demeanor in WrestleZone but he got off the blocks quickly, targeting Lewis Girvan and hitting The Granite City Driver onto the best young wrestler. Noam Dar entered number 14 to a huge ovation but was cut short with an attack from Red Lightning who told security to remove Dar from the ringside area. Though technically not in the match I’m going to note it down as an elimination courtesy of Red Lightning.

Elminations: Noam Dar (Lightning)

Joe Hendry (#15) – Mikey Whiplash (#16)

Joe Hendry wasn’t hanging about, in after a new song (We Want Joe Hendry), and started dishing out big clotheslines, a Freak of Nature to Wilde and a hard Irish Whip into the corner saw Wilde over the top rope and out of the Square Go. As we get into the second half of the Square Go, former winner Mikey Whiplash entered and made a beeline for Jimmy Havoc. Mastiff was eliminated after rushing at the ropes to Whiplash who lowered the top rope and a favourite had been eliminated. Following up with a suplex from the apron to Trent Seven who was in the ring for his second elimination. Whiplash had gone through the second rope in the build up to spared his own elimination.

Eliminations: Sir Andrew Wilde (Hendry), Dave Mastiff (Whiplash), Trent Seven (Whiplash (2))

Stevie Boy (#17) – Doug Williams (#18)

Stevie Boy entered like a house on fire with a Devil’s Halo to Jimmy Havoc. Scotty Swift and Joe Hendry slugged it out in a match I’d like to see in the future.

Eliminations: Scotty Swift (Stevie Boy)

The Wee Man (#19) – Davey Boy (#20)

The remaining Bucky Boys, Wee Man and Davey Boy entered with Stevie Boy being the focus with him eating a Sparrowhawk from Davey. Girvan was still throwing low blows about to anyone that was open to receive.

Wolfgang (#21) – DCT (#22)

Wolfgang wasted no time getting to the ring but Massimo almost finished Wolfie’s Square Go early. A missed big boot left Massimo hanging off the top rope for Wolfgang to dropkick him from the top and the Italian was out. Wolfie followed up with eliminating Joe Hendry and Lewis Girvan.

Elminations: Massimo (Wolfgang), Joe Hendry (Wolfgang (2)), Lewis Girvan (Wolfgang (3)), The Wee Man (Stevie Boy)

Michael Chase (#23) – Timm Wylie (Weapon – Lead Pipe) (#24)

Joe Coffey used DCT’s own manhood to suplex him in a move that I couldn’t begin to name. Whiplash finally made his way back into the ring with a square off with Jimmy Havoc who was then attacked by two men in masks, Whiplash and Havoc battled onto the apron and, with an Acid Rainmaker from Havoc, eliminating both from the match. Timm Wylie entered with a lead pipe but was dumped out in short order by Joe Coffey.Wylie had the last laugh and used the pipe of Coffey and DCT before leaving.

Elminations: Mikey Whiplash (Havoc (3)), Jimmy Havoc (Whiplash (3)), Timm Wylie (J Coffey (2))

BT Gunn (#25) – Jack Jester (Weapon – Metal Sex Toy) (#26)

Gunn quickly eliminated Chase as the numbers were growing in The New Age Kliq’s favour. All three members in and only four more entrants remain. Jester entered as The New Age Kliq served DCT up to him who then battered the International Sex Hero with his metal toy and threw him out while The NAK controlled the ring.

Eliminations: Michael Chase (Gunn), DCT (Jester)

Red Lightning (Weapon – Kendo Stick) (#27) – Mark Dallas (Weapon – Golf Club) (#28)

The Majority Owner of ICW entered with a kendo stick and laid into everyone he has his eyes on. The NAK and The Black Label had control of the ring as Mark Dallas entered with his insurance policy, Big Damo! Damo returned and entered the match, causing chaos which allowed Dallas to strike Red with the golf club. It was short lived as Lightning took control with a beat down only for Sweeney to hold Lightning against the ropes for Dallas to take a swing, but Drew Galloway appeared on screen to distract Dallas long enough for Lightning to throw Dallas out. Lightning turned around only for Joe Coffey to throw out Lightning.

Eliminations: Mark Dallas (Lightning (2)), Red Lightning (J Coffey (2))

Mark Coffey (#29) – Lionheart (#30)

With everyone in the match it started to get very interesting, one of those men was going to win a title opportunity that could be cashed in at any time. Lionheart entered only for Kenny Williams to sneak behind and smack him with his hoverboard. As soon as Lionheart got into the ring, he was back out courtesy of a Joe Coffey clothesline to the chants of ‘Thank You Kenny‘. Noam Dar returned with a chair and leathered everyone and eliminated Doug Williams and Stevie Boy. It was then relayed via Billy Kirkwood on commentary that Noam Dar has officially been re-entered into the match. Dar and Gunn squared off, but during their attempt to eliminate each other, Mark Coffey swooped in and dumped them both out to leave us down to the final four.

Eliminations: Lionheart (J Coffey (3), Doug Williams (Dar), Stevie Boy (Dar (2)), Davey Boy (Gunn (2)), BT Gunn (M Coffey), Noam Dar (M Coffey (2)).

Final Four – Wolfgang – Mark Coffey – Joe Coffey – Jack Jester

The Coffey Brothers reunited to batter Wolfgang and Jester only for Wolfgang to dump out Mark which left Wolfie and Jester to work over Joe Coffey. Coffey fought back to throw out Jester and it was then down to two…

Eliminations – Mark Coffey (Wolfgang (3)), Jack Jester (J Coffey (4)).

Final Two – Wolfgang – Joe Coffey

Both men slug it out, Coffey had been in since number one and was carrying a groin injury that was spoken about on numerous occasions during the match but he battled on. It looked like Coffey was going to go all the way until a quick shift saw Wolfgang throwing Joe over the top rope and the match was over.

Winner: Wolfgang

It was a marathon for Joe Coffey who lasted well over an hour, he may not have been victorious but he certainly proved that he was the true Iron Man.

For me it was a fun show, plenty of surprises like Scotty Swift, who I would love to see more of in ICW. It was a long slog of a match though, the crowd was buggered by the end. Primarily for being a long match but they were likely spent after Grado versus Renfrew.

The whole show is available for free on ICW On Demand. Well worth watching, a great show with a fast opener and two heated titles matches. Everybody loves a rumble and though there was a lul in action as most rumbles do, it was a fun main event. Check it out!