No Kinky? No Party! The History of The Kinky Party [Uncensored] Part Three

By Louise Westie
Twitter

 

Part three, and our final part, of the Kinky Party look takes us from 2019 to the present day. Enjoy. x

2019 – The Feud with The Anti-Fun Police Begins

2019 was the start of a new year for The Kinky Party to get back on the road to tag team glory, and they were facing off against the debuting Nine9 (the returning Dickie Divers and Jack Morris debut) on January 13th. Cutting a promo with Veronica backstage, they had no idea who Dickie Divers tag team partner was, Sha had been racking his brains all over Christmas, Jester didn’t know. Sha asked if he had any friends or a family member or a dog. Jester jumped in with imagine the first time back, Dickie Divers versus a dog and (Sha mocked that if it was his bird, it could be a dog – oops) new year, new him.

Anyway regardless of who it was, The Kinky Party had one goal this year – and that was to win the tag titles back, they didn’t want to win them in Newcastle, London, Birmingham, or anywhere else except Glasgow, so Dickie Divers, bring your mum, your dad, your sister, your brother, your uncle, the result was always going to be the same, no kinky, no party and Jester couldn’t have said it better himself.

However, during the match, the distraction of loud police sirens and “No Fun!” on the two big screens had indicated that The Anti-FunPolice (Chief Deputy Dunne & Los Federales Santos Jr.) were making their way to ICW and that had caused Kinky Party to lose their match!

The Nine9 won, which had pissed The Kinky Party right off and Sha let them have it, by saying that if anyone wanted to send a message to them, they should not do it by some shitty video, unless it’s anywhere in the world, Europe, they don’t care, next time come and face them in the ring instead of sending shitty messages. When Sha stormed off, Jester took the microphone and let rip by saying that he didn’t know what the fuck that was all about, but they cost them their first ICW match of the year, so like Sha said if your English, European or if you’ve got a problem about the way that they conduct business, was to go to Glasgow, come to ICW, and see how far they get!

Backstage, Kinky Party cut a promo and Jester was going on about going back to Benidorm, achieve a better tan than Sha Samuels, and try and get up early enough for one McDonalds breakfast, but got interrupted by Liam Thomson and his sink to talk about the Square Go and suggested that the three of them get together (not in a sexual way, lol) but to team up. Liam was getting confused and Sha and Liam faced off with Sha teasing to piss in Liam’s sink and Liam bit back by saying that if he pissed in the sink, he’d be getting it on his boots because it wasn’t plugged in. Jester informed him that you don’t plug the sink in, you plumb it. As Liam went away, Jester and Sha talked that if it was just the two of them, they’ll flip a coin and according to Jester, tails never fails.

When the Anti-Fun Police made their debut in Glasgow, it became a two on one handicap match as Sha was unable to make the match due to travel problems. Jester unfortunately lost, they may have won the battle, but the war was just beginning…

Kinky Party – Pre-Party at Maggie Mays

Now, before the Square Go event, The Kinky Party held a pre-party for all fans at Maggie May’s, which was brilliant, I wasn’t well, but I stayed for the whole thing anyway.

Please read the review of party below for more information.

The Eighth Annual Square Go!

At the Square Go. The Kinky Party didn’t win unfortunately as they had got eliminated by Operation RedWolf.

Drippin’ Like A Knackered Fridge

When ICW returned to Aberdeen, Kinky Party faced Kings of Catch for a tag team title shot, they unfortunately lost that match.

Backstage, The Kinky Party were chatting and Sha was saying to Jester that they had a shitty start to the year. They lost their match and they lost the Square Go as they were mucking about drinking beer and they could have been the tag team champions. Instead they chose to have a good time and something had to change as Sha wanted to be a champion again. Sha thinks that they should give up alcohol! This caused Jester to burst out laughing until he realised that Sha was serious (but come on, Kinky Party without alcohol is like a vampire without a blood supply) then Liam Thomson came down the stairs to take his shirt off and congratulate them on being announced as The Sinky Party for the King of Hawners Tournament. Sha reminded Liam that they were not The Sinky Party, they were The Kinky Party plus one as Kinky Party were already a team. Jester agreed that this could work and Liam had loads of ideas as they were already a threesome and have matching gear and be sink related and S&M related. Jester had even come up with the idea that they could spray Liam’s sink black and get some crystal style taps put on and maybe some studs, but Liam wasn’t too sure about involving the sink. Sha went out for some fresh air as he wasn’t listening to the jacked-up hobbit.

Outside, Sha was with Jester who was trying to get him to cool off, but Sha was complaining that he was standing outside in Aberdeen with his tits out (he had his gear on) but Jester was trying to get Sha to give Liam a chance etc. Sha didn’t like him, and there was nothing that mug will do to get him to like him, but after Liam had brought him and Jester a can of beer, he seemed to like him.

So’s Yer Maw 2

When ICW returned to the Garage, it was The Sinky Party (Jack Jester, Liam Thomson & Sha Samuels) versus The Wild Boys (Aaron Echo, Andy Wild and Kieran Kelly) in what was a teaser of what to expect in the King of Hawners tournament.

The Sinky Kinky Party cut a backstage with Veronica and Jester started off by saying that just when he thinks that the crowd can’t get any hotter, every single time, they show him why they are the best crowd in the world, he didn’t care if they’re here, New York, nothing was hotter than that tonight. Sha said that after tonight and he had to be honest, he wasn’t sure about Liam, but after tonight, he had accepted Liam into the Sinky Kinky Party by giving him a can of Tennent’s Lager. Liam however was a bit distracted by the cut on his hand from earlier and Sha shrugged it off by saying that was just a boo-boo and to stop moaning, as Sha used to be a butcher and Jester had scars. Sha continued on saying that he wasn’t asking, he’s not begging, he’s DEMANDING that they get the Anti-Fun Police in the first round – no kinky? No party.

King of Hawners – The Anti-Fun Police vs The Sinky Party

The Kinky Party unfortunately lost though, but this would not be the last time we see Chief Deputy Dunne and Los Federales Santos Jr

After the Anti-Fun Police match against Bad Company (the Anti-Fun Police lost) Jester commiserated the Anti-Fun Police on their loss from the balcony because they were both out of the tournament, the thing was that Jester and Chief Deputy Dunne were completely different people, the kinky party and the Anti Fun Police are two completely different teams – Jester doesn’t live by their rules, but apparently they live by theirs, because as soon as they lift a weapon to him or Sha, whether that be a baseball bat or a steel chair, or a fucking kitchen sink, the game is over. Last night, Dunne was right, Jester had no fun, no fun whatsoever, in fact he was miserable, but he tells them that at Shug’s Hoose Party, O2 Academy, it’s gonna be Kinky Party vs the Anti-Fun Police one more time, BUT if the Anti-Fun Police win, Jester will welcome them to ICW full time, but if The Kinky Party win, it’s over for good, but it was a distraction as Sha had sneaked into the ring and laid into the Anti-Fun Police. However, Dunne brought up the fact that they’ve already pinned Jester and Sha, so what made them think that they’d want to come to Shug’s? The Anti-Fun Police agreed to the match, but if they were going to do that, then there was a stipulation for them and this is this: WHEN they win, The Kinky Party are done! Kinky Party accepted.

At the next show, Kinky Party were cutting a promo in the men’s toilets and Jester apparently had a surprise for Sha and Sha didn’t like surprises. Sha remembered Newcastle, the strippers, old woman sitting on his face, he didn’t want that, and Jester teased that everyone likes that. Sha hit back with that Jester may like it, but he didn’t and not to mug him off and not to embarrass him and he’s got kids. Jester asked if he honestly think that he’d embarrass him at The Garage in Glasgow? Sha wanted him to prove him wrong and said he’d see him next week and gave him a wee cheeky kiss, with Jester muttering ‘arsehole’.

On the Father’s Day episode of Fight Club, Jester came out first and alerted to the fact there was something missing or should he say someone out of this equation and everyone is wondering where he was (my first guess was the bar backstage) and Jester will tell us exactly where he is – He’s at the opposite side of the curtain and is absolutely fucking raging because he doesn’t like surprises and Sha tough titties because Jester loves surprises and tonight – he’s wearing the trousers. Now since it’s Father’s Day and his kids only bought him a toilet roll, Jester thought that we (the fans) could make him feel special and tonight we could be his children, so Jester got everyone to stand up and make some noise and welcome him as he’s his da, he’s your da, he’s everybody’s da and Sha made his way to the ring.

The segment would not continue until The Kinky Party had finished their drinks. After, Jester took the lead by saying that these past two years have been the best years of their lives, they’ve traveled the country causing chaos, having a laugh and drinking every single bar dry but there was one thing he can’t stop thinking about (before you ask, no, not that!). So as much as he loves the place, he’s always regretted having The Kinky Party Launch Party in Newcastle. Now it was one of the best nights of Jester’s life and it set the standard for what this team was going to become, but he’d always wished that they’d done it in Glasgow in their hometown.

So, he told him that he’s got a surprise for him, but he’s actually got a couple of surprises, but not to worry because he’s got something for each and every one – as long as we share. So, Jester brought out two boys (Big Ross Hauser, who was ICW ring crew and Jordan “Big Da” from BBC’s Rogue to Wrestler) wearing Sha Samuels scarfs to come out with cargo. Jester couldn’t afford strippers all the time. Sha joked about how he could actually be Big Da’s Da. Jester said that in Newcastle, he tried to keep it regional and he bought Sha Newcastle Brown Ale and Sha turned his nose up at it and told him it tasted like Tipp-Ex, but tonight, he’s still keeping it regional and introduced Sha to his new favourite drink – Mad Dog 2020 (now Mad Dog 2020 and Sha Samuels are a fun combination, which you will find out later!).

The ICW Mafia came out in full force to encourage Sha to down it and Jester needs to babysit him and Sha downed the rest of it while Jester told everyone to stop encouraging him and that Sha was gonna regret that in 20 minutes. Jester also had brought prawn cocktail crisps, party rings, sweeties, pork pies and scotch eggs. Cast your mind a couple of years, Newcastle – Kinky Party Launch Party, Jester made Sha a video to convince Sha to be his tag team partner and to prove to Sha that teaming up would be a good idea. He’d done it again, but this time it was not to convince Sha to be his partner, it’s to remind them WHY he was his tag team partner and WHY you Sha Samuels are Jester’s best pal and asked for two chairs and brought him a box of hankies (Sha thought it was lotion!).

The video was so lovely and touching of their highlights from their first two years as a tag team. After the video was finished Jester wanted to know if he liked it – someone in the crowd shouted “he fucking loved it!” in Sha’s voice and Sha’s response was that they took words right out of his mouth. It showed him how much this team means to him. It showed him how much this team means to all the fans and it showed how much this team means to Sha. On July 28 th , it’s probably the biggest match of their lives, bigger than any championship match, more important than any job that they are ever gonna get, more important than any contract that gets signed because this was about them, their friendship, everything they’ve been through, their futures at ICW on July 28 th . So Anti-Fun Police on July 28th , they’re not turning up to fuck about! No Kinky, no party!

Fight Club – July

Now, the ICW world was in shock due to the passing of Adrian “Lionheart” McCallum and ICW put on a very special tribute show to say goodbye and to honour him a special and very heartfelt main event match was booked – Polo Promotions versus The Kinky Party.

Apparently, Lionheart had been pushing to Dallas for months to get the Polos vs Kinky Party. It was so soon after it all happened and they had no ideas and they were dreading doing it as they didn’t want to be in their work, which was understandable given the circumstances and Lionheart had always been pushing for that match. The match started with a toast between Kinky Party, Polo Promotions, Simon Cassidy and Sean McLaughlin. It ended perfectly with Sha landing a perfect five-star frog splash winning them the match. You could see how much these boys were going through and it was so emotional to watch back. It was a heart-breaking moment when his boots and his trunks were brought into the ring and placed in the chair in the middle. You could see how hard they were struggling to put on a brave face.

(I was devasted that I couldn’t make that show as I was on holiday and I couldn’t make it back in time. I felt so guilty at the time because I wasn’t there for them to give them a cuddle. I’ve never seen The Kinky Party like that ever and I don’t want to see them look like that again.)

Shug’s Hoose Party 6

Before the match, The Kinky Party came out in new matching gear – purple and black – this to meet Jester’s style. To prove how seriously, The Kinky Party did NOT have a drink until they beat The Anti-Fun Police.

The Kinky Party won the match, they sat in the middle of the ring with a can of Tennent’s Lager and they celebrated by crowd surfing the O2 Academy and headed to the bar!

Gang Warfare

The first match back was against The Nine9. A team who made their debut at the start of the year who had beat The Kinky Party. Before the match started The Nine9 had taken a leaf out of The Kinky Party’s book and the match would not commence until The Nine9 had finished their non-alcoholic lager (boo!).

The Kinky Party won that match and they headed to the bar, but not before crowd surfing The Garage.

After Gang Warfare/Feud with Kings of the North Begins

After ICW – Gang Warfare, The Kinky Party didn’t really have much matches, as Sha was wrestling elsewhere and Jester (who was meant to be wrestling in Newcastle also, couldn’t make his match, due to transport issues with ScotRail) turned up at Fight Club and cut a promo on how he thought he would swing past and say hello and to address Fear and Loathing. Just over a month away from ICW’s biggest show of the year, yet him and Sha still haven’t been told what they’re doing on the show they haven’t even been told IF they’re going to be on the show (shite!) but mark his words, they will be at Fear and Loathing because let’s face it ; Fear and Loathing would not be Fear and Loathing without a big fat slice of The Kinky Party.

Jester’s promo was cut short by KOTN Bonesaw and Corvin, who had jumped Jester and battered him with his own chain. As it went backstage, KOTN laid into Jester and laid out the challenge for The Kinky Party at Fear and Loathing, leaving Jester lying.

France 2000

During France 2000, The Kinky Party was cutting an interview with Jennifer Louise on their match about how two months feels like two years, and they’ve missed each other and that tonight was the night. That KOTN were a bunch of cowards for mugging off Jester, when he wasn’t there and now, he’s back the KOTN were going to get the battering of their lives. However, KOTN got the jump start on The Kinky Party and attacked them before the match.

When the match broke out during the show itself, KOTN and Kinky Party brawling at ringside and tied Jester to the tag team rope in the corner, plus using duct tape (now, if you all know Jack Jester, you’ll know he loves a bit of bondage. So that’s not going to bother him). While the KOTN laid into Sha and as Corvin was about to finish Sha off, Sha raised his little pinky in the air and Noam arrived to make the save. KOTN scarpered, and Noam continued by saying that he loves KOTN thinking that tying up Jack Jester was a bad thing as he loves getting tied up (I bet he does!). Noam would wind KOTN up calling them Dafty #1 and Dafty #2 by telling them to go and get Dafty #3 from Love Island (Adam Maxted) and next week it’s gonna be The Kinky Pinky Party against KOTN calling them supply teachers.

When KOTN left ringside, just as Noam was about to leave, Jester asked him where the hell did he think he was going and to put the chair down and as Noam sat down, Jester reminded everyone that it’s been three years give or take since he’d been in the building and if he though he’d be leaving the ring the NORMAL way, he had another thing coming because when you hang out with the Kinky Party, they leave THAT way (indicating to crowd surf.) They blocked Noam from escaping so he had to crowd surf, first Noam, then Sha and for the first time in ages; the audience actually dropped Sha!

(Not going to lie, that was flaming hilarious and Jester’s reaction was priceless!) So, The Kinky Pinky Party crowd surfed into the night.

Pre-Fear & Loathing XII

Seeing as Fear and Loathing XII was at SWG3 this year, the entrance for The Kinky Party was pre-recorded the day before as it was absolutely freezing and raining. The tent was somewhere around the back entrance which was shown later on that night.

Every single year, they promise themselves that they’re going to have an early night, go to bed early, they’re not going to be late and every single year, they fuck it. They wake up stressed, they get their baws chewed out, they are there last minute, but not tomorrow. Sha delighted in showing Jack the best tent that money could buy, he had spared no expense (and Noam’s credit card!).

Sha suggested that they have ONE beer, because they were mature adults, they could handle it. After all what’s one beer? Sha was insistent that one beer wasn’t going to mess it up; one beer, early night, then bed, what’s the worst that could happen?

Knowing The Kinky Party, it’ll start with one beer, then it’ll end up the back of a cab somewhere hungover.

Before they climbed into the tent for a “early night”. The Kinky Party took off their dressing gowns to reveal matching pyjama bottoms, Sha went in first, followed by Jester, who gave us (the audience and the camera) a cheeky wink.

God only knows what they got up in that tent…

Fear & Loathing XII

During the introductions, The Kinky Party promo picked up the next morning where it looked like the end credits of The Hangover (I love those movies). So, the Promo started with Jester and Sha getting a wake-up call from Dallas and Jester saying that they were at the entrance, but clearly, they were still asleep in their tent. Jester woke up first and said that they’ve done it again! He had these strange things attached to his ears (what I later learned was two different kinds of woman’s knickers) and the man himself covered in kisses. Sha however had his eye mask on and a cigarette in his mouth.

As they got out of the tent, Jester couldn’t believe it and Sha thought he’d gone blind (he still had the mask on) Jester reassured him that he hadn’t – he’d just forgot his glasses. As they were about to shoot off, Sha stopped him because he wanted breakfast (kayfabe and that) but Jester was quick to remind them that they didn’t have time for breakfast, but what Sha was referring to was half a bottle of Mad Dog 2020 which Sha downed, to Jester’s horror and then brushed their teeth with Tennent’s Lager. When they got to the doors of SWG3, Jester tried to get Sha to breath and Sha asked why Jester had knickers in his ears and Jester’s response was that he knew exactly why he had knickers in his ears. When Sha asked about ring gear, Jester said not to worry about that because his old da’s got it sorted, because for one night only they are going to be The Kinky Pinky Party!

After the match, which they won and crowd surfed into the night and to the bar.

The Last Fight Club Taping of 2019

Now, while ICW was dealing with the fallout from Fear and Loathing XII, The Kinky Party were supposed to have a tag title match with the reigning and defending champions at the time, The Purge, but at some point Sha Samuels unfortunately picked up a wrestling injury and nobody knew if or when Sha would be cleared to wrestle and it wouldn’t be an ICW Christmas Show without The Kinky Party, who had made it clear that they would be celebrating.

Jester came out first, (before the show, I had dropped off Christmas presents for the boys to cheer them up and the moment he came out with one of the bags, my face went bright pink! I had no idea and I was quite flattered that they chose to use it in a segment). Jester had even straightened his hair (suits him).

Before we all got too excited, Jester came bearing some bad news as we saw during the week, Sha Samuels has not been cleared to wrestle, therefore they would not be wrestling for the ICW Tag Team Championships. They did promise them that The Kinky Party would be in action to spread a little Christmas cheer, but that’s where this gets a bit awkward, as you can see Jester is standing there alone by himself, lonely and that’s because Sha Samuels will not be here tonight. Now on that note, Jester didn’t want to leave us disappointed or to ruin anyone’s Christmas, not only has he searched high and low, he as searched the globe looking for a replacement that would not disappoint. He had found a Christmas cracker, there was only one spectacle wearing [it’s a condition] (you could hear Sha’s voice backstage) rotund [whose he calling rotund?], chubby cheeked [you cheeky git!], jolly man who could replace his best pal Sha Samuels and it was only SHAnta Claus!

Before he came out, Sha refused to come out and complained to Dallas who told him to as it was Christmas, Sha agreed on one condition that this doesn’t go on Demand and Dallas crossed his word and hope to die, scout’s honour – (he never said anything about YouTube or Facebook…)

When he came out, he was dressed in Santa ring gear and his beard was sprayed white and he was in a grumpy mood. He told Jester not to talk to him or look at him, as Jester had promised him that they would both come out dressed the same (like France ’99) for Christmas spirit. No, it’s just Sha standing there like an absolute pillock and he was literally the Mug of the Week and Jester hadn’t made any effort! Jester scolded him about effort as he’d straightened his hair for the segment and was wearing his favourite blouse and drew attention to his shiny silver shoes and asked if they did not remind him of their sparkle in a child’s eyes, when he comes down the stairs on Christmas morning to see that Santa Claus had left him every single present that he wants. If these shoes did not fill his heart with Christmas cheer, then quite frankly he did not deserve to be Santa Claus.

Just as Sha stormed off, Jester told him that he was going nowhere as he was going to have to ask him to take off those Santa shorts! They were his shorts, they belonged to Jester and he wanted them back now and to GET THEM OFF and he’d ruined it. Sha still had his old Christmas ring gear on underneath (those were Jester’s well!). He said that Sha could keep them on so he asked Sha a question. He knew Sha was having a hard time and that he was disappointed that he couldn’t wrestle, but what’s the one thing Jester always does to cheer Sha up and put a smile on his cheeky face? He makes a feel-good video and he’s done it again, only this time he’s added a sprinkle of festive cheer.

That was exactly what it was with a very special mention of Lionheart with words – Merry Christmas from The Kinky Party AND from the Kinks of Leon at the end.

Now Sha took charge asking what’s the one tradition he does best after Jester plays a video (get pished!) He usually downs some sweet, sweet alcohol. Asking what Jester had got for me, he reached into the bag and he pulled out a wee miniature bottle of what looked like Whiskey and Sha tanned it in three seconds! That was too easy, and kept asking was that it, Jester started laughing as he had pulled out a big bottle of bubbly warning Sha not to make a mess as he downed it. When he came down, that was normally the point when the music comes on and they crowd surf but due to his injury, Sha can’t (in case the crowd drops him) Jester will also not crowd surf. Either way in 2020 The Kinky Party will crowd surf in every single venue that ICW runs and will be new the ICW tag team champions once again right here in Glasgow! No Kinky? No Party! The boys came back for the Christmas celebrations.

2020 and the Future of The Kinky Party?

When 2020 came around, the rest of the year looked set to be pretty quiet. The Kinky Party did turn up at the Square Go and Sha helped Jester as much as he could through the match. However now with the COVID-19 situation, it’s unclear when the wrestling world will get back to normal, but when they do, I guarantee that The Kinky Party will get their long overdue title shot and get them tag titles back and then there’s gonna be one big party …. A kinky party! No Kinky? No Party! East!

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