Review: WrestleZone (@WrestleZone) ‘Aberdeen Anarchy’ (13 May 2023)

It’s been two weeks since Aberdeen Anarchy, and you’re about to witness some attempt at recall. Let’s do this.

Our road trip episode of the SWN Podcast (coming out on June 2nd) will cover some things so I may repeat some points during this written ramble.

Back to Danestone Community Centre, where Aspen lifted the Undisputed WrestleZone Championship, where Caleb Valhalla was scalped, where the name Scotty Swift was no longer to appear on WrestleZone event, and that was just back in December. We arrived without incident because I learned that Google Maps can piss off if they wanted to throw me down a cul-de-sac again.

The queue was long and buzzing. It felt like a big deal. There were new faces that were attending their first WrestleZone show, no pressure.

It was an early doors open (but 5 minutes later than advertised as standard), which allowed time for people to get a picture with a lot of the WrestleZone roster, grab merch, and just generally relax before the event began. I loved it, Mr WrestleZone was wandering around, confused by his surroundings and life in general. You see, he’s never been to Danestone Community Centre and has no bad memories or emotional moments that could cause someone to break down and revitalise themselves as a masked superhero. Mr Umar Mohammed was nearby to make sure that Mr WrestleZone didn’t leave the venue to be found in the big Tesco along the road.

We had your fan favourites like Damien, Connor Molloy, Caleb Valhalla, Tommy Raiden, Alex Webb, Air Myles, Aspen… and William Sterling. Which was an odd inclusion but it was nice to get a picture with Wonderful William as I don’t think he’s done meet and greets at WrestleZone since the first Thunder Buddies run.

All the new merch was on display including either the best or worst t-shirt I’ve ever seen. Ronan King had white t-shirts with the Aberdeen Anarchy poster edited to have his face over everyone else that’s on the poster. It was a fantastic idea, that looked really cheap. It’s like when Kevin Owens does the KO-Mania shirts but with the arrogance of “that’ll do because I’m great”. Which was perfect for Ronan King. He should throw up these designs on a Teemill store or something.

I got pictures, chatted around the venue, had Mr WrestleZone loudly shout that he knew me from the internet and the podcast, I’m glad he clarified with the second point. I don’t want my OnlyFans revealed just yet.

Sat down, cracked open a can of Monster (Ultra Rose) and was ready to be sports entertained.

VIP Ticket Holder Match – Ted O’Keefe defeated Oliver Green by submission.

I’ll be straight up with you, myself and Mr O’Keefe probably won’t be hanging out any time soon, our online non-existent friendship is that of awkward interactions and possible loathing.


When he entered Danestone Community Centre and, with glee, shouted that I was his friend and gave me a handshake dripping with sarcasm. In that moment, I… liked… Ted O’Keefe.

Just that moment.

He seemed to finally embrace his role, whereas before he looked like he would cry from the mere heckle, he had clapbacks, and looked to properly enjoy being the bad guy.

Oliver Green entered with plenty of fire as they battled back and forth. He was a bit hunched but I’ve been down this road before and I bet by Battle of the Nations he’ll be pulled up and chest out. It’s all about confidence. This being his second singles match in front of a crowd he was really solid in the ring. Ted was more than happy to be the spoiler with cut offs and sneaky digs to up the support for his more inexperienced opponent. Green gathered up some momentum but ultimately couldn’t hold on when O’Keefe locked in a Sharpshooter for the submission win.

These pre-show matches that WrestleZone put on are on par with the main show and a nice little bonus. Saying that, I think it was all VIP folk that were in Danestone, maybe four folk were denied entry for not shelling out the extra £3.

Another little break to let those four misers into the venue, and I managed to resist and only purchased a couple pin badges. I don’t really do pin badges but they looked neat… so into my box of wrestling memorabilia it goes.

Resident master of ceremonies, and undisputed Mosh Pit Bash Champion, Martyn Clunes welcomed us to Aberdeen Anarchy but was interrupted by the familiar sound of bagpipes and the entrance of MR P. Yes, Mr P. Six months ago he seemingly hung up his gloves and disappeared from WrestleZone. He arrived suited and booted, a handsome man is Mr P. He announced that he was offered a job in WrestleZone management and accepted it. He said that he would be the JUDGE, JURY, and EXECUTIONER of WrestleZone which only got two people audibly excited (myself and Kelly), I won’t spoil why, and that he wasn’t here to control the chaos, but to EMBRACE the chaos.

He was interrupted by Chris Archer, chain in hand, had a wee confrontation with Mr P who decided that if Archer wanted to come out early then he can just have his match now.

The charisma that explodes out of Mr P’s pores, it was great to see him return after an absence in a role that I will definitely enjoy, the enthusiasm that Mr P has is infectious and he thrives off a crowd reaction.

Mosh Pit Rules – Mikkey Vago defeated Chris Archer by pinfall.

Vago entered in another tremendous custom shirt for the occasion, with his drip (I’m sorry) being that of a roadie, it’s a mosh pit rules match so that makes all the sense. He had a metal bin full of goodies that vaguely qualify as legal items in a mosh pit. I’ve decided not to question it as Vago has found so many loopholes I’m assuming that he has found reason for everything.

Lots of weapons were used and smashed during this one, Archer found his head bashed against a high hat which was music to many’s ears as the clangs echoed around the room. Can’t remember the order of all these things so just to throw out the highlights:

  • Vago had a battle with a little hi-fi, it looked like a combi cassette/CD version as I’ve aged myself terribly… I’m sure it eventually placed music but I didn’t hear it (but I missed Ronan King swearing about two metres away from me so it could’ve been blasting for all I know).
  • Archer hit a second rope Side Effect onto a bin.
  • Many ‘Sing’apore Cane shots, very many.
  • Archer hit a Cactus Elbow through a wooden board that was set up across two chairs at ringside.
  • Little beer kegs were used.
  • Vago trapped Archer into a big bass drum.
  • Then hit a great Coast to Coast (took two attempts but was worth the wait).

Chris Archer looked to mash Vago’s brain with a guitar but was victim to the green mist, then found himself being cracked with that very guitar to stay down for the count.

A great opener, lots of plunder and perfectly came off the back of Mr P talking about embracing the chaos. It was a scrap at points which it should’ve been because they’re hardly going to do a collar and elbow tie up eh.

It felt like the end of the chapter with Archer’s motive for punching Vago at Station Hotel Showdown still a mystery it might not be the end of this feud just yet.

Captain Alan Sterling defeated Evan Young by pinfall.

We were welcomed by the pomp and circumstance of Captain Alan Sterling, with his creased sailors suit and his signature hat, stouting his way to the ring through a wave of boos.

He gloated a bit before his opponent was revealed, the returning Evan Young. I think his last match was Aberdeen Anarchy last year when he defeated Bryan Tucker so it was great to see him back. He had a fancier captains hat on that drew the ire of Alan, as Mr 2004 made me feel even older when he removed his jacket to reveal tattoos. Surely he’s not old enough to have tattoos? Nah, that must be some backstreet dodgy tattooist that will accept fake IDs, must be… my back hurts.

We got some Captain Alan buffoonery but he seemed to be a bit more aggressive in the ring, showing off his Mixed Martial Alan skills. Young took a little bit to settle back in, but once he got going though you could see how he has matured in the ring. Alan tried, something, by forward rolling into the corner while Young was sat on the top rope but was met by a stiff slap to the face.

Captain Alan attempted to go air born but found himself at the business end of a yKo outta nowhere.

It took a rope assisted roll up for Captain Alan to gain the victory *sad toot toot*.

Really happy to see Evan back in the wrestling, he might not have gained the victory but the fan gravitation that he had a year ago is still there and extended to those that may be newer to WrestleZone to strengthen the support.

I liked that Captain Alan wasn’t his totally ridiculous self, it’s like the mystery opponent aspect and reveal had him on the backfoot and the silly captain persona is really a front for a more tactical and cerebral Alan… reading too much into it? Probably.

WrestleZone Tag Team Championships – Two Out of Three Fall – The Foundation of the Future (Bruiser Brad Evans & Ryan Riley) defeated The Fair City Saints (Alex Webb & Air Myles) two falls to one to WIN the WrestleZone Tag Team Championships.

A match so big that there was an impromptu interval after the match as it broke the ring. Definitely too much happened for me to remember move for move but Evans and Riley got the first fall relatively quickly to immediately put Myles and Webb at a disadvantage.

There was a sense of urgency from The Fair City Saints which was great, as they looked to even the score. Which they did after a 450 Splash from Air Myles to go 1-1.

Now it was down to the final fall. As the tension grew, both teams looked to knock the non-legal man down long enough to gain the final fall.

Bruiser Brad threw Myles into a wall behind us before rushing back to the ring, piledriving Webb with an assistance from Riley which grabbed the final fall just as Myles crawled to the apron.

A well crafted match that escalated as it went on. Evans and Riley showed off their intensity and power and Myles and Webb did everything in their power to pick up the pace. These two teams are so well matched, making it look easy.

Bruiser Brad Evans, he’s getting broader every time I see the man wrestle. He is a beast of a human, with the body shape of Hillbilly Jim, and can throw folk like they’re nothing. A physical bull of a man. The teamwork that these two teams have is so smooth. I’ve said before, somewhere, that I appreciate The Foundation of the Future, and specifically Ryan Riley in that, they’re supposed to be the antagonists and they are, but when it comes to the fundamental rules of tag team wrestling they are adhered to, the tag rope is held, the 5 count is used, they respect the ring, even if they don’t respect their opponents. I pick out Ryan for that because I notice when, and it doesn’t happen often, if a tag swipes air, he makes a point to get the physical tag, and if missed, he will make sure it’s done before moving forward. It doesn’t interrupt the flow but it’s a great bit of perfectionism (is that a word) to be inspired by.

I hope this isn’t the last time we see The Fair City Saints, a really great tag team and they are fantastic with fans. There’s still some legs whether it’s revisiting The Foundation of the Future, or actually having a match with The Outfit, there’s plenty to do up in the North East for them.

Future Title Opportunity – Ladder Match – Connor Molloy defeated Zach Dynamite, Dino, Murphy, Tommy Raiden, William Sterling to win a future title opportunity.

After a brief interval to fix the ring we got the ladder match for a future. Admittedly this was a weird one and a bit thrown together with who was left to squeeze onto the card. When announced I wondered why it wasn’t for the Tri-Counties Championship for example but when I sit back and look at the competitors it makes more and more sense.

It’s for a title opportunity, doesn’t say which so the field of competitors would target the range of titles that were available, from Dino and Murphy going for tag gold, to Zach Dynamite going for the Undisputed Championship, then you had wildcards like William Sterling, Connor Molloy, and Tommy Raiden that are chasing that first taste of a singles championship.

The match wasn’t your prototypical ladder affair. There wasn’t too many slow ascents as the match moved so quickly. The opening brawl was great for the fact that everyone started fighting, leaving William Sterling standing there who then just went and got a ladder unimpeded. The brawl stopping while William got his foot on the second rung was just fantastic timing, like Sterling had been caught with his hand in the biscuit jar.

We got the spills though, with Zach Dynamite putting his name forward to replaced William Sterling for ladder match renegade as he was chokeslammed by William from the ladder, getting air, and landing on a horizontal ladder that was balance between the launch ladder and the second rope. It was incredible.

William Sterling had a rough night, he tried to scale the top rope to hit an elbow drop onto a wrestler (can’t remember who, it’s been two weeks gimme a break) but lost his balance and found himself almost necking himself on the top rope.

Tommy Raiden dove from the top turnbuckle onto the outside into a mass of bodies, one for the highlight reel. The Outfit worked as a unit throughout, no tease of dissention, even if there was some hesitation to climb the ladder itself. Murphy Murphy’d his way around.

The night belonged to Connor Molloy, a big frog splash from near the top of the ladder to the canvas got some big ‘ooohs’. Just as he looked to win, Ted O’Keefe tried to play spoiler but was knocked down. After a tussle with Zach Dynamite, Connor pushed the ladder and sent Zach to the outside into the remaining competitors. Molloy grabbed the contract/clipboard to a big reaction.

Connor needed this win, now the intrigue is what he’s going to do with it. I have many theories that’ll never pan out probably.

A little note, I saw William Sterling exit after the match, clapping and gesturing his appreciation to Connor. Maybe it’s the final hurrah for William, time will tell. Is Danestone Community Centre cursed for injuries and retirements?

WrestleZone continue to have show stealing ladder matches. They don’t happen often, but when they do it’s fantastic.

Ronan King vs Damien ended in a no contest.

Oh boy. Now this one was a bit different from the fun night of wrestling we were having. Ronan King entered is the most drippiest of drip, crop t-shirt that unveiled a, I don’t even know how to describe it… for young folk it’s like Seth Rollin’s top half at this year’s WrestleMania but in white, for older folk it’s like Jeff Jarrett’s early 90s attire. It didn’t stay on for long but it was a look. He entered passing out framed photos of himself, which I’m still waiting for, where’s mine Ronan eh? Anyway, he passed one to Damien’s daughter in a true act of scumbaggery.

This was an uncomfortable fight. At some point Damien looked to have been knocked out which rocked him entirely, and it became Ronan King beating down Damien but being unable to strike that killer blow. It wasn’t a “fun” match, it was King trying to decimate Damien with the former Undisputed WrestleZone Champion fighting back with everything he had.

It was almost a twofer in injury when Ronan went for a shooting star press but under rotated and by some miracle didn’t break his neck due to the angle he landed on Damien. There was millimetres between safety and needing an ambulance.

A frustrated Ronan tried to use his remaining picture frame to take out Damien, but Damien stopped the attack, stood on the frame and smashed the glass. In anger, Ronan grabbed a piece of the glass and tried to gouge the eye of Damien while his daughter looked on and cried.

The match was thrown out as crew and referees came to the ring to separate Ronan from Damien.

As I said at the start of this section, it was uncomfortable.

There wasn’t any blood but the goriness of Ronan trying to stab Damien in the eye with a piece of glass has me in two mindsets of, the wrestling fan in me is interested to see where it goes next, will we get eye patch Damien, will he spiral into madness?

But the human in me was like, did this go too far when it’s a primarily young audience? Maybe.

Ronan King is a special talent, he is consistently the talk of the show after every event he’s on. This is a very meaty story to be in, there’s going to be some heavy emotional moments to come I’m sure that the reaction that will take place when King gets his comeuppance will be glorious.

Mr WrestleZone & Umar Mohammed defeated Rhys Dawkins & Bryan Tucker by pinfall.

So after y’know, the attempted murder, there was an eerie atmosphere in the room. The tension was cut by Bryan Tucker’s hilarious ode to Scotty Swift as he strutted out with Rhys Dawkins. Wrestling is weird.

Mr WrestleZone arrived, and sent Umar Mohammed back behind the curtain who returned also sporting a Mr WrestleZone mask. Subverting the expectation of a custom Sherwani-cape. Maybe next time.

Umar Mohammed was stuck in the middle of slapstick shenanigans, Tucker and Dawkins couldn’t seem to get on the same page, just bumping into each other like right wallies.

We’ve seen some very good wrestling. An epic ladder match. Potential homicide. Now we got… this.

In a moment that makes total sense in this spectacle, Mr WrestleZone flopped his way into the ring and demanded that Umar threw Bryan Tucker face first into Mr WrestleZone’s buns of steel.

Mr WrestleZone had entered with a little bag for life that turned out to have an extended tag rope that he tried to use to get the tag while Umar was cornered by Tucker and Dawkins. He returned to the corner and found himself tangled in his own invention which was amazing, in part because Martyn Clunes was turning red with laughter while trying to release Mr WrestleZone from his own trap.

Umar tried his best to make this some semblance of a wrestling match but it wasn’t to be but it served as a much needed bit of levity after the previous bout. Mohammed hit a lovely tightrope satellite DDT onto Bryan Tucker, Mr WrestleZone begged for a tag, which he received as he finished the match with a devastating pinfall.

It was weird, but entertaining. I don’t know where this is going to go, and I’ve really enjoying Mr WrestleZone, but I’m afraid that Mr Umar will lose patience eventually.

Undisputed WrestleZone Championship – Lost Boy Aspen defeated Caleb Valhalla by pinfall to retain the Undisputed WrestleZone Championship.

After all that happened before it, it was time for the main event. Caleb Valhalla entered with a beautiful cape, ala that picture of Kane from 1997 at Madison Square Garden, you know the one. Aspen was announced as Lost Boy Aspen for the first time in WrestleZone (citation needed) with a snazzy Granite Road adorned jacket for the occasion.

It had a big match feel, as these two big lads threw hammer blows at each other. It was like watching Godzilla and King Kong have a final showdown. As the fans scooted forward to the edge of their seats, the battle waged on.

Heavy hit, after heavy hit, the ring rattled as their bodies crashed to the canvas as they battered each other. Aspen locked in a Koji Clutch but Valhalla managed to survive. Caleb looked to have won with a smashing spear but Aspen just kicked out. The finish was a blur but I think it was a Bitter End that finally kept Caleb down for a three count.

It was a war, a colossal clash that split the crowd throughout as they watched on in awe seeing this titanic contest. As the dust settled, members of the WrestleZone roster entered the ring with ice packs as the two combatants made it to their feet for a handshake.

The match that had a lot of hype coming into it, a match that wasn’t about bad guys or good guys, it was about two of the best facing off, and that’s not hyperbolic, it’s the Regal Rumble winner and the current holder of the Undisputed WrestleZone Championship, in the rankings that’s the top two, battling for the biggest prize in WrestleZone. An incredible match to end a spectacular event.

For relying on my own recall here I think I’ve done the show justice and have accurately given an account of WrestleZone Aberdeen Anarchy. 10 years of WrestleZone for me, and the shows just keep getting better and it’s not a secret anymore. A dedicated audience, a roster that gives the crowd the emotional moments to react to, that are so giving to their fans.

Wrestling. Bloody hell.

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