(Not Bristol like I said last week.)

Hello and welcome to the latest ‘A Few Words About 5 Star Wrestling’. This week it’s Belfast, Northern Ireland. Due to The Beast From The East (not Bam Bam Bigelow), the live show started at 8pm. Cutting the show from 3 hours to 2 hours.

The pre-show still took place on Facebook. Some bloke beat another, Big Grizzly beat Flash Morgan Webster, Curtis Murray beat Russell Dempster and in the pre-show main event, HT Drake defeated Matty Mayhem.

The barriers are the wrong way round again, c’mon guys I’m rooting for you!

So for the first time, I have actually witnessed the whole main show.

The show kicked off and Alberto El Patron was announced as my heart sank. Just as PJ Black and John Morrison disappeared we got El Patron. Yeah he’s on that list of disliked wrestlers that I hold mentally.

El Patron talked for a bit, announcing that Rey Mysterio wasn’t there due to a family issue. Folk booed and looked raging. El Patron challenged Jody Fleisch for tonight which was accepted by ‘The Phoenix’.

I hate Alberto El Patron, when he was Del Rio to now, I have never got why folk like him. He’s clearly a prick outside of the ring and inside he is nothing but bland. Yet he has this sh*t eating grin every time I see his stupid face. “Oh he’s working you”, no he isn’t. He’s rubbish. Nobody wants to say ‘Si Si Si’ you insufferable prat.

The Kings of the North, Bonesaw and Damien Corvin entered to face Max Money for the 5 Star Wrestling Tag Team Championships. The advertised match was Adam Maxted against Rey Mysterio but that was cancelled. Maxted must’ve got the memo late as he didn’t have his belt with him. Though to be fair, who sends memos these days?

Bonesaw is one scary looking dude, if you imagined an angry Irish uncle then this is the guy you would imagine. Scarier than Jim McDonald after Liz had another affair. A wee Coronation Street reference there.

The Kings of the North started hot but Max Money used their shenanigans to gain a brief upper hand. Max Money tried to leave but The Kings of the North dragged them back to the ring. Max Money spent the early part of the match on the back foot, regrouping every couple moves on the outside. It paid off eventually as they lured Corvin to the outside and suckered him into a big lariat from Maxted. Max Money took over, cutting the ring in half and taking turns beating down Damien Corvin. Corvin looked to almost break his face after it looked like he was countering a top rope superplex. Max Money hit a powerbomb neckbreaker onto Corvin and it looked like Bonesaw made the save in time but the ref declared it was a three count.

Well that was a mess.

The match itself to that point was good, The Kings of the North looked impressive but that finish was terrible and tainted the whole match somewhat. Maxted was standing there, he should’ve been getting Bonesaw to avoid the save and the whole confusion taking place.

SoCal Val was in the ring to interview Carlito and Chris Masters who wanted to face the top talent in 5 Star Wrestling on their way to the 5 Star Tag Team Championships. They were interrupted by Pure Dead Brilliant members Kid Fite and Krieger, the latter gave Masters and Carlito a big bosie upon entry. Kid Fite told them that they may not be top talent but they are above average. Carlito spat apple into Kid Fite’s face while Master locked in the Masterlock on Krieger. Carlito hit the Backstabber on Fite to end the segment.

Another week goes by and Pure Dead Brilliant are pure dead brilliant. Give them melons and they make melonade! More SoCal Val please and thanks.

The top of the hour main event, Jody Fleisch versus Alberto El Patron was next. Some wrestling to start off, the crowd seemed more behind Alberto for some strange reason. El Patron kept his t-shirt on, must be cold in Belfast, at least he wore his El Patron gear. Remember that time he wrestled on Impact Wrestling in his Del Rio undies? Fleisch picked up the speed which lead El Patron to take a wee rest on the outside. Alberto begged for a handshake, which lasted an age before Fleisch just attacked El Patron. Patron then caught him in the apron following a baseball slide and the match went into panto mode with Patron using a fan’s drink to smack Fleisch then fight into the crowd. Fliesch hit a moonsault off a barrier in the crowd in a high point of the match before they headed back to the ring. An even contest from here with both men getting offense in. Fleisch hit a beautiful jumping hurricurrana from the top rope. El Patron returned with a dodgy looking reverse DDT-suplex hybrid from the top rope.

El Patron brought in a hammer…for some reason but Fleisch dropkicked El Patron and it was dropped. El Patron got Fleisch in position for that double foot stomp and that was it for Alberto.

I really wanted to enjoy this match but Alberto El Patron is the worst. It’s like he can’t decide whether he wanted to be cheered or booed so he flip flopped throughout the match. Like he thought, oh this would be funny lol, but in reality he’s a total tool.

El Patron talked more and showed his respect for Jody Fleisch, which was nice.

Know that Dolph Ziggler promo that he does every week about loving the business, El Patron sounded just as disingenuous.

We found out that Jake Hager, the 5 Star Wrestling Champion wasn’t in Belfast. So no 5 Star title match tonight. Flash Morgan Webster entered for The Modcast with Zack Gibson.

Gibson went on his usual rant about the imported talent. Gibson introduces his own 5 Star Wrestling Championship, the 5 Star Real Wrestling Championship for British wrestlers to fight for. Eddie Ryan interrupted proceedings. Taking exception to Zack Gibson moaning each week while he was fighting each week. Ryan challenged Gibson to a match for the 5 Star Real Wrestling Championship. Gibson declined but Ryan told him that management already knew about the 5 Star Real Wrestling Championship and the match was already signed for the main event.

What a weird turn of events. 5 Star have sanctioned a title match for a title that isn’t official? Eddie Ryan made no reference to getting a bottle in the face last week by Bram.

Joey Axl was out and called out BT Gunn. Axl then told him to get out of his ring. They brawled for a bit and Axl locked in the Stretch Muffler.

Joey Axl is rubbish.

And needs a hair cut.

Main event time with Zack Gibson defending his 5 Star Real Wrestling Championship against Eddie Ryan. Gibson was in control for the majority as he berated Ryan throughout. Eddie fought back and set up the George Cross but Gibson countered into the Shankly Gates but was countered into a pumphandle fallaway slam. The action continued with a codebreaker from Gibson but Ryan replied with a superkick for a close two count. Gibson hit the Helter Skelter spinning suplex for another two count, after more back and forth Eddie Ryan hit a superkick and the George Cross to win. Apparently winning the 5 Star Real Wrestling Championship. Max Money entered to attack Eddie Ryan as Bram watched on. Max Money then attacked Zack Gibson in a strange turn of events. Bram entered the ring, looking to have been the mastermind behind the turn. End scene.

A good match, just lacked a little fire. A strange ending to the show which I suppose adds some intrigue into next week in Aberdeen.

A bit of a step back tonight which can be in part due to the weather. The lack of announcements, or the poorly executed announcements, hurt 5 Star tonight. They could’ve notified fans that Rey Mysterio, Rob Van Dam and Jake Hager weren’t there, due to the weather conditions or whatever reason they weren’t there, in a timely manner. A lot of interview segments that were unnecessary like The Masters of Cool and Joey Axl. They could’ve stayed at home. El Patron added nothing for me. A pure British main event was nice. While the first hour of the show on television was a highlight show of last week the pre-show was on Facebook live, it may have been better to have that pre-show televised and use Carlito and Chris Masters and have them earn their wage properly. The crowds are so small and quiet, hopefully that improves next week if the snow has shifted and they come up to the North East to The Granite City. Scottish fans like to be loud.

 

Next week: Aberdeen. (I won’t be going, even though it’s like an hour and a half up the road)