Adam’s Five Wildcard Picks To Win The 2023 WrestleZone (@WrestleZone) Regal Rumble

Greatest time of the year, everybody loves a Rumble, etc etc – the road to Aberdeen Anarchy begins with tomorrow night’s Regal Rumble, featuring the 25-man Regal Rumble match. There’s little leeway for the traditional Rumble surprise with all but two entrants named as of you reading these words plus the involvement of *absolutely not Scotty Swift how dare you even think that* Mr. WrestleZone, but it does mean I’ve got a 1 in 25 chance of being right here.

It’s a stacked lineup with a good mix of WrestleZone veterans and newbies, Rumble performance records being extended and others having their first installment. For stat nerds out there, there are currently five men confirmed to be making their Regal Rumble debut (Rhys Dawkins, Tommy Raiden, Oliver Green, Air Myles, and perhaps Mr. WrestleZone), with another four marking just their second time in the field (Umar Mohammed, Ronan King, Murphy, and Alex Webb), and then there’s William Sterling, who has been in every single one. He’s something of a Regal Rumble connoisseur some might say.

Billy’s already done his five picks to win the Rumble and I won’t be arguing with him about it, he’s bang on the nose I’d say, so instead I’ve got some wildcard choices to win, how exciting eh? Basically it’s just to avoid having two of the exact same thing because that would be BORING but partially it’s so I get to justify why this year is absolutely the year Lord Mr. Malice is going all the way. 2014 still doesn’t sit right with me…

Tommy Raiden

Someone on the WrestleZone management team has it in for Tommy Raiden because there’s no reason as to why, after just two main show appearances, he was facing Bruiser Brad Evans and Dino on back-to-back shows. He’ll probably be in at number one just to further exemplify management’s apparent hatred of him and honestly, I could see him pulling off a surprise 2011 Bryan Tucker-esque win.

Raiden is quick and flashy, a nippy performer whose high-flying nature may not be the most beneficial for this match but he’s been around for a while, stationed at ringside eyeing up every single WrestleZone roster member. He’s got the mental advantage in that sense so if he can avoid the big, bruising heavy hitters (about half the field this year, phwoar), then he genuinely stands a chance. The Regal Rumble is nothing without its underdog victories and/or eliminations; Connor Molloy dumping out Crusher Craib, Bryan Tucker hoofing Jack Jester out of there, Mr. Malice waving bye-bye to Jay Lethal; Tommy Raiden wouldn’t be the first and he won’t be the last.

Captain Alan Sterling

Captain Alan Sterling appears to be stuck in limbo, a bit directionless. His antics with Caleb Valhalla saw Alan a marked man after last year’s Regal Rumble but it’s been a topsy-turvy road ever since, matches being postponed for varying reasons, Alan’s not-Sterling-Oil-but-they-could-be group getting involved at every turn, Caleb being shaved for some reason, and it may not even be over. The lack of a singles match between them here is odd given that their Station Hotel Showdown one got canceled last-minute due to Alan’s ‘travel difficulties’, which brings us here.

Caleb Valhalla is the prime choice for this year’s winner, a big beefy monster who can launch folk about and out of the ring, but he’s not the only big lad in there. William Sterling, Dino, and Murphy, the real-life Russian doll collection, will protect Alan at all costs akin to Sterling Oil with Richard R. Russell in 2018. Everyone forgets how solid a wrestler Alan is but there was a time in 2015 when many were convinced he was taking the Undisputed title from Scotty Swift, I’m still of the belief he should’ve but that’s neither here nor there.

Win here and Alan vs. Aspen Faith also happens for the first time which…yes. Yes, please.

Mikkey Vago

Mikkey Vago has his hands full at the Regal Rumble with the chance to batter Chris Archer for his Station Hotel Showdown actions, so his head may not be fully in the game – but he’s got a kendo stick.

And Muta mist.

Oh. My.

Everyone knows the best Royal Rumble match was 2001 and why? Because it had weapons. And because Haku randomly strutted out but that’s a different story. Kane battering all the WCW and ECW outcasts with trash cans, lids, and all sorts was peak Royal Rumble and quite frankly, the fact it hasn’t happened on the same level since is a crime. 2007 was the closest we got with him Chokeslamming Sabu into his fifth retirement and The Sandman clubbing folk with his kendo stick, which is precisely what I’m expecting from Mikkey Vago here.

He’s taken on a new lease of life since WrestleZone returned in 2021, adding more to his arsenal at every turn, the inspirations becoming clearer with every show. He’s the exact sort of outside choice who could actually win it.

Kaden Garrick

I’m not saying Kaden Garrick is Mr. WrestleZone (the graphic is solely for ‘mystery entrant’ purposes in this case), but I am saying he’s back on Saturday. WrestleZone have suspiciously left two open spots in the Regal Rumble match with just one day left before the show, a rarity for them. Knowing my luck, they’ll actually just do a double announcement tonight BUT they could just leave them open for surprises.

To steal from Billy’s preview, a Rejected reunion seems likely at the Rumble, but in the form of Garrick and Chris Archer, sans Mikkey Vago. Archer heavily mentioned the possibility of a reunion in a recent video and he’s actually kept his Rejected cut – if he was done with the group altogether, then why does he need it? Taunting? The memories? Or a new partner.

Archer’s always had someone by his side, whether it was Mikkey Vago, Brian Starr, Revolution for that one night, or indeed the horrors of 2014 who shall not be named. It’d be nice to see him strike out on his own for a bit, but there’s a bit of credibility in having him and Kaden together I think, just the two of them. Whether or not Vago then enlists someone’s assistance for a hypothetical Aberdeen Anarchy showdown that’s never going to happen becomes the next question.

Of course, I’m just spitballing here, the likelier case is WrestleZone just posts two graphics tonight with two really obvious names that just slipped my mind.

Lord Mr. Malice

I just really want to see a lord win the REGAL Rumble, okay? Leave me alone.

On a serious note, if Lord Mr. Malice returns for every Regal Rumble match, then he’s got to win eventually, right? Right?!?! Win, lose, or die, here’s hoping we get to see the Weapon of Malice Destruction in play!

No tickets are left so if you snoozed you lost, who will add their name to the legacy of the Regal Rumble?

Past Winners
2010Bingo Ballance
2011Bryan Tucker
2012Crusher Craib
2013Crusher Craib
2014Jack Jester
2015Scotty Swift
2016Crusher Craib
2017Shawn Johnson
2018Richard R. Russell
2019RUDO Lightning
2022Aspen Faith & Zach Dynamite

More Information

Doors: 6pm (VIP). 6.30pm (General). Bell time: 7pm (VIP). 7pm (General).

Tickets: SOLD OUT.

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